‘I don’t deserve this. You’re being too nice,’ I said as his hand found mine again. I squeezed it.
‘Maybe you are too hard on yourself,’ he said, letting the words settle in the air between us.
And then we just sat there for a moment, in the comfortable silence that I would miss so much. But I couldn’t sit there any more, because I knew if I did, it would just make everything worse. Looking at Felix’s perfect face, drowning in his kindness. It wasn’t fair.
‘I should head back.’ I stood up and tried desperately not to cry again. He stood up too.
‘Can I get you anything before you go?Chocolat chaud?’ He gave me the saddest smile. I shook my head before throwing my arms round him, breathing in the lavender-and-vanilla scent I’d come to know so well.
‘Thank you,’ I whispered. ‘For everything.’
‘Au revoir, Margot,’ he whispered.
‘Goodbye, Felix,’ I said, before turning and walking towards the door.
‘Oh, Margot?’
I turned, and he hesitated. Then he said, ‘Whatever happens with my brother. Make sure to look after your heart.’ He pressed his hand on his chest. ‘You have told him yet? That you must leave?’
I shook my head.
‘It is where you are going now?’
I nodded, walking out the door before the tears came back, in the thick of the furious storm.
36
The rain was blowing sideways as I reached the sand. It fell in thick droplets that soaked me right through in seconds. I breathed in the wet, salty air as a deep sadness filled my gut. I couldn’t leave here. I couldn’t leavehim.
Thunder roared through the darkening clouds, and I looked towards the ocean. Huge waves with violent peaks crashed to the shore like they were just as furious as I was.
And Iwasfurious. The disappointment had long since turned to anger as I stormed across the sand towards Antoine’s hut.
And he was there. Of course he was there. Bringing things inside, securing the hut against the violent gusts of wind that were growing stronger by the second.
He didn’t see me until I was almost beside him. Then he turned and shouted over the noise of the wind and waves.
‘Margot! What are you doing here? It is not safe!’ He pulled the rack of surfboards closer to the hut and started tying them together with some rope. Lightning flashed over the ocean and the thunder roared again as another torrent of rain followed.
‘I have to leave.’ I shouted over the beat of the rain on the roof of the shack and the waves crashing behind us.
‘Yes, you do, it is not safe!’ Antoine repeated, more frantically this time.
‘France! I have to leave France,’ I yelled, more desperately than I’d meant.
Then he stopped what he was doing and just stood there, staring at me in the rain. Water ran down his face and he didn’t wipe it away. His dark hair sat flat against his forehead, but his eyes seemed even more blue. Like they’d come alive in the storm.
He flicked wet hair away from his eyes. ‘What do you mean,Princesse?’
But he didn’t wait for an answer; he just grabbed my hand and pulled me into his hut, which creaked and groaned from every angle.
‘I have to leave,’ I said. My voice was choked, and I told myself it was from the rain in my throat, but that was a lie. ‘My sister. Rue. She has to have an operation and it’s been moved earlier, so we need to go home.’
I forced myself not to cry, even though the disappointment consumed me like a wave.
‘That is …’ Antoine pushed his hair back again and turned away briefly before looking back at me. ‘Your sister. She needs you. When is the operation?’ he asked.
‘Next week. But we need to get to Liverpool. The hospital there is one of the only places that does it.’
