Okay, so is this a prank?
A dream?
Some adrenaline-fuelled hallucination?
Sinking into my chair, I call Alice, keeping my voice low, trying to fade into the background. Hard to do when you’re the only clothed person in a room.
When she answers, she’s already going about her day, ready for the school day ahead. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Naked people,’ I whisper, lips stiff in case anyone can read them.
‘What?’
I can’t show her. That would go against many laws and moral responsibility. I keep the WhatsApp call as close to me as possible. ‘There are naked people in my hotel.’
‘Ey, up.’ Tim and Jemima, clutching plates of breakfast. Tim and Jemima’s dangling bits in all their glory.
‘Looks a lovely day out,’ Jemima says.
‘Definitely.’ I squeak.
They make their way to their table, only a few feet from mine. I slide down in my chair.
Alice laughs. I’m glad someone finds this funny.
‘What is your hotel called?’
I give her the name and focus on my food. Never have I been so interested in sesame seeds.
Her laugh draws some attention from nearby naked people, and I smile at them to assure them that everything is okay, and that I’m totally fine with nudity at eight in the morning.
‘What’s so funny?’ I ask.
‘Will, did you look at this hotel before booking?’
‘No.’ The memory of that night is hazy. I was drunk. I saw nice photos, read something about relaxing with no inhibitions, and booked.
‘You’ve booked into a nudist resort,’ Alice says. ‘Apparently the first in Athens.’
Old and young, well, legal age, of course, sitting in this room, baring it all. Only one other person has clothes on, if you could call a crop top and Speedos clothing. The rest sit on dainty white towels, eating with tiny forks and knives, without any worry in the world.
‘You have to be kidding me.’
‘You’re only now realising it’s a nudist resort?’ Alice asks.
Tim and Jemima. It makes so much more sense now, especially after they didn’t bat an eyelid at my nakedness, which had been unintentional in the privacy of my room.
‘So, what do I do now?’
‘Get naked,’ Alice says this as if it were obvious.
‘Alice, I can’t.’
‘Yeah, you can,’ Alice says. ‘I’ve known you for years, Will. You’re no prude. You used to dance at house parties in your underwear. I’ve even seen you naked.’
‘Yeah, by accident,’ I say, recalling walking out of the shower and finding Alice in my apartment. She’s always had a key.
‘Same thing,’ Alice dismisses. ‘You have nothing to be shy about… if you catch my drift.’
