Chapter 8: Armor
Carver breaks into the supply den thirty-two minutes later. It took the last of my food and a charge from Catalyst. The rocky cavern lights up when he stumbles to a stop. Carver’s body whirs slower until he’s still again. He’s red hot and paces away from us to cool down.
Mace, Karambit, and Brunt check the area as medic unit Atox leads the crews in with the dark Titans, who need more than a jumpstart. Esthi and I survey the crates for useful parts and start calling out what we’ve found.
“Rations packs in this alcove. Looks like enough for everyone to get one,” I say.
“Titan?” Karambit asks as he peeks around the corner.
“Solcrue.”
He sticks out his tongue in disgust. “Dirt tastes better.”
“I’m happy to take your pack,” Brunt remarks. “I’m starving.”
Karambit snatches one up. “Fuck that. These crusty worm cakes are mine.”
I grab a crate and hand them out, being sure to save one for myself and Esthi when she calls to me.
“Armor over here.”
“One second.” I find a large bag of medical supplies and cart it to Atox.
She slaps her forehead. “I mean, there’s Solcruearmorand what looks like CSP battle uniforms here.”
“Oh.”
“But I do want you for a moment.”
Karambit whistles suggestively, catching the attention of the other Brothers. I cannot stop my wings from twitching in embarrassment. They all know Esthi is mine. I made sure to tellthem her name, title, and a few other details, even if I did not give them the full download.
I follow Esthi into a private corner of the cavern. Behind me, Brothers dig into their meal packs, help patch each other up, and talk verbally about their time in the mud. Humans wouldn’t talk much. They’d still be processing the trauma. Titans are different.
It is programmed into us to move forward and not let trauma control us if we still have our parts. We assess current problems, like residual dirt in gears, and our remaining assets. We think about the next task.
I long for conversation, but deep-rooted guilt won’t let me join them, so I find Esthi in the back room.
When Esthi turns to me, she is in tears. I open my wings and shield her from the Brothers. Perhaps she is not as strong as I thought. But it is easy for Titans to shut off when we do not want to deal with the truth. Humans do not have this luxury.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
She paces the small area I’ve isolated us in and then slumps on a boulder. “Can I be honest?”
“Please.”
Esthi hugs herself. “For most of my life, I have been in confined spaces, like the mines or ships. This doesn’t bother me. I’ve always worked quietly from the shadows. But I set this plan in motion, and I had no idea what I was really causing.Ireleased the women weeks ago from bothMarstandVessna. Corenge was too far away to hack remotely. And it’s filled with solely military Solcrue. That’s not something I’m quite ready to tackle. Pretty sure they’d squish me like a bug.”
I’m confused. “You released the women, but you’re not happy about that? They are free. Clover says they are on our BlazeStar.”
“A lot of the womendidn’tmake it.” Esthi covers her mouth. “I did it to help them and give me a chance to free my sister, but she’s been turned into a pilot for Solcruean ships.” She inhalessharply and holds her hands out like she’s laying everything out before her.
“Then I crash here and find you and can’t help all of your Brothers. I dropped my cover, came into the open onMarst, and it’s just been death and destruction since.
“I’m exhausted. I’ve given away most of my most precious supplies, which is suicide without a plan to acquire more. I just feel like I’m at the end of what I can do for you and your Brothers. I’m a shadow worker. This is not in my skill set.”
I think she needs more than a simplesolution. Esthi was trained for recon and action but from the sidelines, not while being shot at and pressured to help a squadron of Titans all by herself with the threat of mutant wolves on her tail.
Spreading my anchor feathers, I bite them into the rock, then reach back and disconnect myself from my wings, leaving them as a shield, giving us privacy and making me free to move around inside of it.
