Esthi looks up as I walk to her. I want to comfort her, but I am hesitant after letting my Brothers down. I think I know why she is upset. I gather her in my arms and sit on a rocky slab previous Titans appeared to use as a workbench by the scrapes and metal shavings. But it doesn’t bother me. Settling Esthi into my lap, I curl myself around her so that she feels safe. At least, that’s my intent.
“It’s a lot of pressure to have others rely on you. I know. I also know what failure feels like.”
“What’s that?”
“Five years of slowly dying in mud.”
Her beautiful brows quirk with confusion.
I motion in the direction of the sky. “Our squadron, Seraph Bravo, ejected from our BlazeStar to confront Galethian Fleet of the Solcrue’s outer rim forces. We are a quarter of the force we were then. Most of my Brothers were decommissioned as weattempted to take Gilese Haven, which had Omega Force POWs onboard.”
“Humans.”
“Correct. Seraph Charlie was the first to fall. Haven set off a mass EMP, causing Brothers to drift out into space like deadweight as they rebooted. Easy pickings for a gunner. Seraph Alpha made it on board with Delta after Scalpel cut into the hull and removed the EMP generator.”
“You’re replaying this as you tell me, aren’t you?” she asks. “I can see it in your eyes.”
I blink the image away and focus on her again. “Yes. Everything is recorded. The ship turned into a mass battle, and we were called to assist. But CP-549, our pilot, the one a human has renamed Clover, was taking damaging hits. So Commander Fenrir decided we would protect Mother and CP-549. But Haven’s forces did something we didn’t expect.”
Esthi studies me as I restart the memory. “They retreated from their own ship. Haven’s fighters and escape pods flooded the sky, firing at us. I blocked a Gravion weapon from hitting Mother and CP, but it knocked out my shield generator.” I motion to the dark badge on the right side of my chest. It feels like a cold lead weight instead of the hot life-preserving energy it once was. “I didn’t know it would do that. I thought I would die.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I also couldn’t protect the core of the squadron from munitions. My job was to move with the critical assets, either protecting the infiltration crew or the injured. I tried to do it the old-fashioned way before I had the shield. But–”
The memory of struggling to put my body in the way of every missile and bullet and the frantic pace I operated at tenses my back muscles even now.
“What happened?”
“I burned up my rocket boots, and Gilese Haven detonated. They took out Alpha and Delta squadrons and severely damaged the BlazeStar and our Bravo squadron enough that we got caught in Ellipsis’s gravity and couldn’t get free.”
“That’s how you ended up in the mud?”
I sigh deeply and close the replay in my mind. “All I’m saying is that even when we try our best, sometimes defeat is inevitable because it’s beyond our control. But if we live through it, we will try again.”
I hesitantly wipe a tear from her cheek. “You have done a lot for us already. You are the reason human sisters and Titan Brothers are free. I am sorry about your sister. But you tried. And taking anything from Solcrue is a difficult task. Clover wants us back on the BlazeStar. But if we get the intel and an opportunity, we will help you save your sister.”
She sniffles and smoothes the flyaway strands of her hair back with her ponytail.
“Why such an old ship? I mean, most BlazeStars haven’t been in battle for a decade or more. Everyone on the coms thought it was a StarStream Heavy.”
“That’s because most were destroyed. Clover is a unique pilot. She is like Poppy, another 500 series pilot. They brought humans here from the Sol system. I’m not surprised they’re both still in operation. I’m certain that’s why our ship has lasted as long as it has.
“Clover knew tricks to stabilize systems when they’re down and maneuvers when it seemed there was no way out. I think it’s why Fenrir decided to protect her instead of staying on the rescue mission. It was built for Omega Force, then converted for BloodCyphers and Wrecktanks and eventually Relics while designers moved on to new ships for Rogues and CyberGuards.”
She runs a finger over the darkened shield generation symbol on my right pec. Her delicate touch sends a shiver throughme. “Do you ever feel left behind by us? We made new models that we hoped werebetter. But I know that being pushed aside for someone stronger doesn’t feel great. Myria was the best at everything.”
The remarks stings a little. “Rogues are better for a lot of things, but they were designed with different purposes. They are not as good at Terran battle or even confrontations inside of ships. They excel in space, but that is not the only place we must fight.”
“What about CyberGuards?”
“Built to protect what’s left of humanity. If we need to take down a ship, we send a small unit like Mace in to Spike Out and shred what Cyberguards can’t reach. They were built to be bodyguards, mostly. Why?”
She rubs her mouth with a hand and shakes her head. “My sister. They’ve got her stuck in this high-tech armor. She’s flying ships for the enemy. I always wanted to be like her in the heart of action, but I knew I wasn’t that type of person. And now that I’ve broken that barrier, I feel like I should’ve done it much sooner. Maybe she wouldn’t be serving Solcrue and contributing to our demise.
“She didn’t even recognize me. If I can’t save my own sister, if I can’tfindher in there somewhere, then I’m not sure of what use I can be to the rebellion or anyone else.”
“You have already helped rescue my squadron.”
