“Gods, no.” I buried my face in my palms, positive the tips of my ears were on fire.
“Children, however, could be a problem,” Anderz continued, “especially if you take a spouse.”
“Gods and goddesses above and beneath, Lyana. I’m going to kill you,” I growled.
“I would have a moment with Princess Elspeth,” Sainte murmured.
Oh, if given a moment with Sainte, I’d murder him out of sheer embarrassment.
“Well enough,” Anderz replied.
The small group shuffled out, Lyana’s fingers brushing my shoulder in passing. The door clicked shut, sealing in the awkward silence.
“Elspeth–”
“No, Sainte. No.”
“Look at me.”
“If I do, I’ll slap you.”
“Then slap me!”
I yanked my face out of my hands and stared at his livid features.
“Do you know how close that was tonight? How close I was to–” He took a sharp breath and exhaled through his nose, keeping his eyes on mine. “I have a blanket to thank.”
My pulse slammed in my chest. “It was a lovely blanket.”
“A cursed shred of fabric is all that saved you. That and the sheer luck of Lyana in your bed.”
“Better her than you.”
He flinched as if I had slapped him, recoiling with an expression of confused shock.
“Sainte, if you were my Valahant, you’d sleep where I sleep?!” I spat, shaking my head in disbelief.
“I’ve no care who you take to your bed.”
For some reason, that hurt more than I expected.
“You don’t get it,” I shot back, rising to poke him in the chest. “You would give up your life—that part I understood as clear as day. I’m free to do what I want, apparently, but your future vanishes with one lousy vow. No wife, no children, no cottage in the woods—you’d lose it all!”
He lunged forward, causing me to drop onto the bed. He advanced with a menacing glare, slamming his hands on the mattress. I scrambled backward as he loomed over me, his breath hot on my face.
“No. You don’t get it,Princess.” His eyes, cold and angry, bore into mine. “I swore my allegiance to the kingdom years ago. My life is forfeit, my–” He broke off, shaking his head and looking away, wrestling with something deep inside. When his gaze returned, it was softer, calmer. “I made a vow, Elspeth. I vowed to serve the throne, and I cannot serve this regent.”
Understanding dawned as I realized his urgent need to bring me to Wynterborne. This wasn’t just about the kingdom or my duty. It was about his honor. He embodied loyalty and integrity. My Sainte couldn’t uphold his pledge to the throne with my brother on it.
“But what about your desires? If you could choose freely, without your vow?” I bit my lip, exhaling slowly. “What would you do? Where would you go?”
“Nowhere.”
“Your dreams, Sainte. What do you envision for your future? I don’t want to rob you of a family, of the freedom to choose.”
He drew in a deep breath and held it, locking eyes with me. Silence stretched, and my heart raced as I studied his cool blue irises, flecked with silver under the lantern’s glow.
“I would choose you, Ellie. Every time, I would choose you.”
