"The complainant alleges that you were… bewitched.It is a complex complaint, and contradictory.They say that you cannot be virra, as you are not abaya.They say that, as virra, you were able to be manipulated physiologically."He tilted his head close as we walked, voice low.Unlike me, Araxis didn't seem impressed in the slightest by this ship; but I supposed he had grown up as a prince so was used to the finer things in life.
Well, soon I would be too.I'd still always be excited about trees in space though.
"So either I'm virra, and you used your sneaky abayan pheromones or whatever to make me fall madly in love with you –"
Araxis ducked his head, flushing for a moment, and with a stab of irritation I realized that now I couldn't be sure whether that was because I'd embarrassed him and he was sweet on me or if he was embarrassed because hehadmanipulated me and I'd come perilously close to the truth.
I continued anyway."And if it's manipulation, that would mean it's not a legitimate cultural exemption or whatever.Or they think I'm faking being virra and you're pretending I'm virra for whatever reasons, and so I wouldn't qualify."I sighed, short and hard."How would Seraphim even go about proving that?"
"CPEF does not operate in that way," Araxis explained.We rounded the atrium and headed down the corridor toward the dignitary's suite.As we walked, I noticed that every abaya we passed was pausing and ducking their heads down, averting their gaze.I guess hewasimportant.They definitely hadn't done that for me.Then again, I'd been bleeding everywhere and also was an alien."They file a request with the judiciary.A justiciar investigates, and either approves or rejects the claim.It is the justiciar who conducts interviews andgathers documentation.The justiciar will have physicians to evaluate the claim of a… biological control mechanism.And they will speak with both of us at length to determine if we are honest in our understanding of our roles."
"And is there?"I asked distantly, unsettled by the very idea.
"Hm?"
"A biological control mechanism."Because that might actually explain a few things.
Araxis almost stumbled."Sashen," he started, but then we arrived at the suite and the attendant said something in abayan and the two of them had a brief exchange before we stepped inside.
Before we could pick up the conversation, I heard the sounds of Nilli in the kitchen.I dumped my pack by the door and darted in, wanting to see her before I snapped at Araxis and said something I regretted.Or something I'd regret saying in front of her anyway."I'm sorry we didn't come back with you," I said as I rounded the corner.
Nilli was just finishing pouring hot water into a teapot, and she looked up and trilled at me, the skin around her eyes crinkling with amusement."Why would you need to apologize?Here, I wanted to make you tea before I left you two alone."
Araxis followed after me, dipping his chin down."Nilvethre of Creche Athal," he murmured, walking to the kitchen."You have my gratitude for your service to Creche Thiel and for tending to our Sashen when he was in need."
Nilli blinked up at him, her dark eyes pinched thoughtfully.Then she reached and took one of Araxis's hands in hers and said something in rapid, melodic abayan.As she spoke, Araxis silvered and ducked his head, looking away, before he replied quickly.She patted his hand several times, glanced at me and said a few more words, and then released him.When she came to me, she reached up and grabbed my chin in one strong hand and said, "You are very sweet, Sashen of Creche Thiel.When I am home, I am going to send you a sweater that will keep you warm on abayan ships, hm?"
"You don't have to," I said, chest tight.She was another person whose kindness I didn't deserve, but who seemed determined to give it to me anyway.
"I want to.Green, like your pretty eyes."She touched my cheek, and then headed toward the front doorway.When I heard the distant hiss of it closing, I knew she was gone.
I sucked on my lower lip for a moment.Knowing she was gone made the space feel vacuous, and somehow I felt more alone now than I had when I was on my own in these same rooms.Maybe it was because I could sense what was coming and I knew it would be a fracture point, one that was bound to heal wrong if it ever mended at all.
Right now, the secrets were unspoken and so they had an air of unreality to them.
Did I want to do this now?I had to, at least some of it.We were off to a judiciary ship tomorrow and they were going to investigateeverything.I'd better have my ducks in a row.I didn't think I could go in pretending.Onbroadcastdramas, justiciars always knew when characters were lying.More importantly, I didn't have it in me, not any more.I slid past Araxis and into the kitchen, where I picked up the tray.
"Let me," Araxis began, reaching out.
"No," I said."Sit.We have to talk."
He stared at me, black eyes wide, but he obeyed.I sat the tray down on the table, poured us both cups, and then settled down on the cushion across from him.Before, we'd always either sat on adjacent sides of the table or nestled together.
He noticed immediately, his eyes flicking between the steaming cup in front of him and where I'd settled."There is not a biological control mechanism," he said suddenly, although he seemed unable to look into my eyes."It is – an old myth.And it would not translate across species in any case.The Assembly will be furious to hear that this is the claim that has been brought forward to CPEF."
"Well then," I said, carefully spinning the cup before me, "tell me the myth."
Araxis's purple tongue flicked over his lower lip, and it was nervous this time, not anticipatory."In our old stories, it is said that each gender has a counterpart to give it balance.Irenek and xandai; ivriitan and antali; the others as well.We know this is not true – no one holds these beliefs true."
"And," I prompted.
He shifted his weight, just slightly.Unsettled."These stories also say that for virra and sinnenthi, the pairing is not about balance but rather… completion.A sinnenthi can, hm."He stopped and stared into the steam curling up from his tea.
"Araxis, they're going to ask me about this tomorrow," I said, tone flat."Why don't you just tell me, and I can decide how I feel about it for myself?"
His stare flicked up, and the only way I could think to describe the expression on his features wasguilty."It is not true, Sashen.And you know, as well, that I am not…" He trailed off, unable to speak it.
I said nothing, unwilling to rush in to give him comfort.The silence stretched, growing more uncomfortable with each passing moment.
