My chest tightened as Talvi stared up at me, eyes shimmering in the dim light."Promise?"They reached a hand out and grabbed the hem of my sweater, tugging.
Right.I cleared my throat, and smiled."Your secret's safe with me.I won't say a word."
I followed Talvi around the second floor of the ship and they showed me a few more closets and cupboards that were a little out of the way, but certainly not hidden enough to justify the level of secrecy they kept reminding me I had sworn myself to.They had me try and cram myself into a few of the smaller spaces, chortling with delight when I could only get part of my body jammed within the space and pretended I was stuck forever.
But the last hiding spot was different: Talvi showed me a ceiling hatch hidden in the back of a storage cupboard.They scrambled ahead of me, disappearing into the black space beyond."Hurry, Sashen!"their voice fluted."And close the door!"
I squeezed myself up, immediately bumping my head against a low ceiling.A dim light flicked on as Talvi set a lantern near my feet, my body hunched into a crouch, and they closed the hatch behind me and sat on top of it."Sadin knows about this one, but don't tell him I showed you," they huffed, grabbing the lantern and pulling it into their lap.They sat with their knees jutting out, bare feet pressed together.
I sat too, looking around us.Unlike the cupboards and closets and maintenance hatches Talvi had shoved me in before, this was… a room.And it was stocked: blankets and pillows, a small case of food and water rations, a series of lanterns, a medical kit, and what looked like a communications hub.
Hidden in the space between the first and second decks, without any exterior access beyond one hidden hatch.
This was a safe room.We'd had them on Seraphim in case of hostile attack, and we practiced drills to get to these hidden and self-contained spaces regularly.
Talvi's face was lit up from the dim lantern, their pale crest like a ghost behind them."This is where we'll go if we see another creche ship," they said matter-of-factly."Me and Sadin and Adrathi.And you can come too.Our Vivith and our Araxis will need to stay outside, and so Sadin is in charge – but ifyoucome, then you can be in charge and you're nicer to me than Sadin.Because I'm your favourite."They wiggled a bit closer, which wasn't hard in a space this small, until their head tipped against my arm where it was folded around my knees.
"Sure," I said, Talvi nudging their cheek against my arm like they wanted to get closer.I lifted my elbow, and they fluted a happy sound and snuggled in, little hands wrapped around the lantern as it cast its dim, eerie glow across the small space.This hidden place where the children would go if they saw another abayan ship.
Why did they need to hide away?I thought back to how quickly Araxis had hidden the shuttle, how careful he'd been to avoid detection.It would be best, he'd said,if they did not know Creche Thiel is in the area.What would have happened if wehadn'tavoided detection?Why did the kidsneed a safe room
"And you could keep us safe with your swords," chirped Talvi as they curled up against the side of my chest."And soon we won't need to worry any more, and then we can go to arealschool and be on a planet, and I'll know lots of people who aren't in my creche."
I squeezed a little, my arm folded carefully around Talvi's shoulders.A contented purr rumbled against my ribs as they nuzzled in a little closer.My throat ached, tight.Talvi felt so small tucked next to me, their body thin."Definitely.And you've already started: now you know me, and I'm not in your creche."
They squirmed a little."Not yet," they mumbled happily."You'rewarm."
I didn't feel warm;I waschilled all the way to my marrow, like I might never get warm again.There was something wrong about this ship – something more than I could see at first glance.Abayan creches were usually hundreds strong, I'd read, split into smallerfactions.Was this a splinter cell of some sort?A smaller group adrift from the rest of the house?And if so, why were they here, in isolation on a ship that seemed to be on its last legs?
Most importantly, was it really any of my business?It wasn't as if I didn't have my own share of problems to deal with.It wasn't as if I could do anything to help anyway.
I gave Talvi another squeeze."I've got to see Araxis.We're going to do some training with swords.And your Vivith is probably wondering where you are."I didn't add that I thought Vivith might not be pleased to know Talvi was hanging out with me; maybe they thought I was contagious, like some of whatever they seemed to instinctively dislike in me might rub off on their kid.
Really, though, there wereworseinfluences.I tried to remind myself I had thick skin, and I didn't care what some abaya thought of me.
Talvi whined a little, upset at the idea of our adventure ending, but eventually I persuaded them that we needed to leave this dark, ominous space.We carefully sealed it up behind us, hiding it away from the rest of the ship, and I could see how it would be almost impossible to find if you didn't know where the hatch was hidden.I said goodbye to Talvi and pried their fingers off the hem of my sweater.I found Araxis at the helm, flipping through starcharts with Evreni, who shot me a flat look over her shoulder as I approached.I ducked my head in, and Araxis half-turned to look at me; unlike Evreni, he smiled.
"I'm headed down to warm up," I said."Join me when you can."
I turned and left, not waiting for his response, all while wondering if I should broach any of this with him or if I should keep my mouth shut.Wondering if this was something I could help with or if it was so entirely beyond my purview that I might get myself a one-way ticket out an airlock for prying into the creche's private business – where clearly the stakes were high in a way I couldn't grasp.
I didn'tthinkhe'd airlock me, and I wanted to know what was going on.Did I want that more than I wanted to shut my brain off and kiss Araxis against a wall?
Of course, I'd been a dancer in a marn den for a decade; if I'd learned anything from Alet Trident, it was that I shouldn't have to choose between getting information and having fun.
I'd figured out my approach by the time Araxis did join me, back in the draped pants and semi-sheer top from the other night, his crest pinned back in a higher and tighter shape than when I'd seen him on the bridge.He inclined his head when we locked eyes, closing the door firmly behind us before tapping away on a panel set into the wall.At once, the atmospheric controls rumbled on overhead.Araxis turned, leaning against the door and studying me with his black eyes, bright with interest.
My mouth went a little dry, looking at him – the angle of his chin, the way he watched me through his eyelashes, the shape of his body beneath his shirt.I had questions for him, true, but I also very much wanted to tutor him like I'd been paid for, back at the den.
"So," I said, forcing my tone to a normal register despite how badly it wanted to dip low and sultry, "I have two swords.I thought we could each take one and go from there?I'd like to wrap the blades – they're sharp enough to hurt.You saw the show, right, so you know that I cut a bunch of things first and…" Then I danced around in an enticing manner, wiggling my ass.I didn't need to add what the rest of the show looked like.
"There are practice blades, a few sets.Here."He paced across the room to a storage cupboard on one edge, and retrieved two sets of beautiful blades, their long handles dark green, the metal a gleaming bronze reserved for blades that had been dulled enough to make them safe for practice.
When I think back on this now, I'm struck by just how clueless I had to be to not wonderwhyhe had practice blades on the creche's ship, why he knew exactly where they were, how they were so easy to retrieve.Sword-dancing isn't incredibly common, and the blades are very particular.But I didn't wonder; I didn't even pause.I just set my blades aside, picked up a set from him, and continued on like the hapless idiot I am.
As I walked him through the basics of holding the blades, I noticed that the air in the room was decidedly warmer than it had been when I'd first entered.I wasn't sure what to do with that realization: he wanted me to be comfortable; he wanted to, I don't know, take care of me in some way, which felt so strange and foreign that I couldn't let myself hold the thought because it threw me entirely off-balance.
Instead, I turned to showing him how to shifthisbalance for the sequences, and I did it like I would with any other student – which meant gently placing my hands on his hips, skimming the bottom of his elbow, brushing my fingers across his.He made a soft sound of surprise when I first stepped behind him, eyes narrowing."Just let me show you," I said with my usual smile."It can be hard to get the rhythm right.I'll show you how to stand and how to move your hands.Trust me."
