"Yes."The skin between his eyes crinkled in amusement."She insisted that a virra with your experience at the den would be irresistible.I think this says more about the state of their relationship than it does about you – though I find you rather irresistible myself, so perhaps I am a hypocrite."
I grinned and shrugged, reaching to slide my hand under the hem of the sweater.His skin shivered as I touched him, his head tilting as he watched me."You might have told me earlier," I said, smirking."If I'd have known I could have hadtwoabaya at once… I don't know, your bed might still be pretty empty."
A delighted trill sounded in the air, and Araxis clasped a surprised hand to his own throat, as if he shouldn't have laughed."Ah, forgiveme: this is particularly amusing because Avelthe and Yalrinn arequiteold, and I do not think they could muster much interest in sex even if they were beguiled by your charms."
I laughed too, bright and easy, and it felt like drinking in a deep breath of clean air after too long on the spaceport docks.I couldn't see the signs of abayan aging like Araxis could, of course, but in my mind, they were old and wrinkled and Evreni – who had, to be fair, stared at me suspiciously every time she'd laid eyes on me – apparently thought I was such a homewrecker that I'd gather up her elderly spouses and take them for myself.
"See, now you're just showing your bias," I intoned with a crooked smile."I've had clients ofallages.I don't know how it works with abaya, but lots ofolder peoplecanmuster interestin sex – particularly for sexy virra dancers.Besides, wouldn't Evreni's concern mean that she thinks it's totally possible they'd want to bang me?Which means that they can definitely still get hot and bothered."
Araxis squeezed his eyes shut, grimacing."Ah, you make a compelling point – although I wish you hadn't.I've known them for myentirelife."
I cackled, curling my body up against Araxis as my hand traced the muscles beneath his skin."Their loss is your gain, though.And Iprobablywould have still picked you."
"Probably, hm?"He tipped his head toward me, reaching to skate his fingers along the bare expanse of my shoulder, my arm.
"I mean, I do like a threesome," I admitted, still ghosting my fingertips across his skin, studying the perfect angles of his face, committing every inch of him to memory so that I could have him with me when I left the ship.So that I could keep him with me always."But I like you even more."
Araxis stroked my arm gently, goosebumps prickling beneath his touch, and I shivered pleasantly against him."You're cold," he murmured, shifting so that his mouth was hot against the side of my neck.
"Then warm me up," I said, low and breathy, and I crawled into his lap and pressed myself against him.The blankets slipped from me, exposing my skin to the cold air, and I sucked in a sharp little breath as Araxis's hands swept up my skin, insistent, determined.
"Sashen," Araxis breathed into the shape of my throat, his mouth tracing over the mark he'd left on me, the bloodied bruise he'd placed there."Could we – just pretend that there is nothing outside of this room?Just for awhile?"
"Yes," I said, voice low and hoarse with want, and then I kissed him, my mouth slick against his, panting into him as he shrugged out of his clothes so we could lose ourselves together.I put every last scrap of willpower I had into keeping the outside world at bay for as long as I could, carving out a space for the two of us where nothing could touch us.I'd have eternity in these moments, I told myself, and I would bring Araxis with me.And even though I did wish, with such ferocity that it terrified me, that we might have had more – I would take this with him over never having had it at all.
So we stayed in bed all morning.I pressed my mouth against every smooth inch of skin, my hands plundering all his hidden depths.I swallowed down all the secret things I wanted to say and instead lost myself in his body, in his heat,inthe sweet slick between his thighs.I swallowed down his cock as eagerly as if I were a dying man and his body was my salvation.I gasped as his fingers threaded through my hair, firm and gentle, all at once, as he rocked against me – and I came again without him touching me, just from the friction of my body against the sheets and the perfection of being with him.
I didn't know then that Araxis was also holding secrets back between his teeth.I think he meant it when he said he wanted for us to be together there, in that room, while the world beyond fell away.I thought he meant to keep the weight of his responsibilities at bay, the impossibility of us.I didn't realize what he wanted so desperately to keep out was his own guilt.
Chapter 11 –Wake Up, Dreamer
We had to leave our little reverie eventually.We were curled up around each other for longer than we should have been, and Araxis's wristband kept buzzing.He fluted out a long, irritated sigh and pushed himself out of bed, after I pointed out that, if something was going to be buzzing in bed, it should be more fun than a wristband.He had gone a nice pink, though, so there was that.Araxis pulled on his clothes again, although I noticed he left the sweater tucked carefully on a shelf.I followed suit, stepping into yesterday's clothes with great reluctance.
"Who's bugging you?"I asked as I pulled on my pants."And do I need to go fight them?"
The corner of his mouth twitched, amused."Hm, Sashen, I do not believe your skills are adequate yet for you to follow through with that offer."
"I can fight them withwords," I protested."I didn't specify!"
That made him smile, and he stepped in close as I finished tugging my shirt on over my head.He pressed a kiss to the side of my mouth.Then another to the other side, then one to my forehead for good measure.I reached and caught one hand and pressed a kiss of my own to the centre of his palm, soft, and he looked at me like I was made of stars.
"I am being reminded that I have responsibilities," he said as I carefully released his hand."I must review our final approach.We arrive tomorrow in the Thenat cluster.You must tell me where… Where you would like to be dropped off."
All at once, the warmth that had suffused my skin drained away.This was a conversation I really didn't want to have, as unwelcome as a cold blast of air under the covers.Except it wasn't a momentary discomfort: this was reality barging in when it shouldn't have.It was the alarm sounding to wake you out of a perfect dream.The klaxon before an airlock vented.
"Why don't we pretend we aren't?"I suggested, my fingers catching the edge of his shirt like I was a child grasping after him, but I couldn't help myself.I wanted to touch him; I wanted to keep him here; I wanted to live in this moment, so maybe wecouldchoose tolive here for just a little longer.I rubbed thoughtlessly at the hem, tracing the tidy stitches he'd made."How about, until tomorrow morning, we pretend the Thenat cluster doesn't even exist?We can deal with it then."
Araxis tilted his head, brushing his fingers through the soft waves of my hair, which he'd been holding rather more firmly not too long ago."Hm, I like your plan.Although I will need to review our final approach in the bridge – so I will, for a short while, accept reality, and then I will join you and we can do as you say."
"Yeah, I'd like that."I let go of him and edged toward the door, but I found myself hanging there, suspended in time and unable to move further.The moment I left this room, I was accepting the inevitability of tomorrow and beyond.And I didn't want to do that – ideally, tomorrow would never come – but time waited for no one, not even sad sacks who were mooning over pretty aliens.
One more kiss for the road couldn't hurt, so I stepped in close again and kissed him, one hand curving around his neck, the other pressed hard against his chest where I imagined his heart might be.
His lips curled into a smile against mine, and I said, "So brave, going to the real world so I don't have to.Thinking about navigation and starcharts, so I can go swing a couple swords around in my galactic fantasy."
He purred against me."It is not entirely selfless.When I find you, you'll be drenched in sweat, yes?And then perhaps you can show me the third sequence again.I am certain I have forgotten it since we last reviewed the steps.I am in need of your close instruction, Sashen."
I grinned, kissed him again – how many times could I kiss him before I got tired of it?I didn't think there was an upper limit – and made myself leave.I made a quick stop in my room to get changed and then trundled down to the training room.It was good, I reminded myself, to keep practicing.Sure, I wasn't going to survive theTournament, but maybe I'd make some Best Of video compilation.Ideally for doing at least one cool thing, not for dying in the most embarrassing way possible.
