Silver Sea was quiet again, and then she shifted her weight, the sheets rustling gently beneath her."The abayan prince in exile.Is he another tactic?"
Her word choice stopped me dead in my tracks."Sorry, what did you meanprince?"I repeated it carefully."I think I must misunderstand what that word means in Standard.The English term is – well, it wouldn't make sense."
"It means a ruler of high social standing.The positionfollows the head of house’s line, and generally involves specialized training and wealth – although Creche Thiel is lacking in the latter."She tapped away on her wristband."There was a great deal of excitement when he registered.Araxis is the first abayan prince, orhead of house, to compete; his numbers have been staggering as a result.We suspect most of the abayan empire is watching, and they are generally a smaller proportion of our viewership."
What was I supposed to think about all of that, I wondered distantly.A fuckingprince?I could feel the way I saw Araxis shifting, the outline of his body changing in my mind's eye with this new information.On his rundown ship with his weird little family, he'd been kind and insightful.He'd been soft with me.He'd had, I could admit, a certain nobility, but I hadn't fucking expected that he was…royalty.
And he'd fallen into bed with me.Talk about slumming it.
"I would not blame you if you were courting him for your own ends," Silver Sea said, sly."It would be a clever tactic."
"It's not like that," I mumbled, and even I could hear the misery thickening my voice."It's – it's not for show.I –" What I wanted to say roared up in me, a tide, and I could feel the truth threatening to spill out.Well, it is for show, but we planned it together before we came.He promised to take care of me, and I promised to have his back, and these were promises we made in bed.I want to leave here with him.I want to be with him, and now I see how that's more impossible with every passing moment.But I want him all the same in a way that terrifies me and I–
So a different truth surged forth instead, because something had to."I think I'm falling in love with him.I – It'sstupid."My eyes were hot again, throat tight, and my body felt wrong lying in the bed.I drew my knees up and tipped my head forward, miserable and furious."Tell me it's stupid.Tell me it's the biggest joke you've ever heard.Say it's pathetic.I mean,here, of all places?Likethis?"
Silver Sea let out a whistling breath."I wish I had not been so hasty with the cameras.That would have been a profitable clip."Her tapping continued, and then the lights in the room warmed, just slightly, so that the dark wasn't quite so velvety.When I risked a look at her, she was watching me with her incisive yellow eyes, her head tilted, thoughtful.
"I'm an idiot," I said, voice thick.
Silver Sea only blinked."Perhaps," she said."But it is true you know how to work an audience, even when you are beingan idiot.I am resolved: I will offer my help."
I stared at her, numb."Why would you help?"
She held one long gray finger up, following suit as she counted."One, I like to win, and I suspect Araxis will try to protect you in the Tournament.Your success is my victory.Two, your actions thus far will already yield me a substantial bonus as handler, and I would very much enjoy seeing that amount increase.Three, you will sign your residuals over to me as part of your contract.I understand you may have attachments to your previous den, but if I am going to step outside of the parameters of my job to offer assistance, I expect compensation."
"Okay," I blurted."I don't care about the den.I didn't even look when Isignedit."
Her eyes darkened in irritation."Andfour, despite the statement you just made and all evidence that should dissuade me, I like you, Sashen Solar, and I would also be pleased if you were to survive.I am not certain that I grasp this notion ofvirra, although it has done particularly well with our abayan viewers – but even I can see that you have a natural charisma that tracks well across demographics.You make fine broadcasting content, despite your ill-conceived plans."
My head was reeling as I tried to catch up.Silver Sea handed me my wristband and I followed along numbly as she flicked a revised contract to me, the changed sections highlighted with eye-watering colours; she insisted I read the adjustments aloud to her to ensure I understood.Somehow, Silver Sea wanted to help me survive.Me, clearly the galaxy's biggest idiot and most pathetic lump of human flesh.I signed away, and she sent off the document to be verified by a third party contract firm, all with her usual cool efficiency.
"What about Seraphim, though?"I asked, finally moving to the side of the mattress and swinging my legs over.The carpet was plush beneath my bare feet, and I flexed my toes, trying to feel more connected to the movements.My head still felt full of cotton, my body cumbersome.However they'd healed me, it was in a way that felt incredibly foreign to my human systems… not that I wasn't grateful.
"Grace Mining Initiativemay file a complaint if they wish.It will amount to nothing, and it will certainly not have an effect before the Tournament begins.We have only a few days remaining, and legal complaints are particularly slow."
I frowned, tapping at my wrist pad to pull up the schedule she'd carefully arranged for me."Shit, I was out fortwo days?"
"Our medical team has limited experience with human physiology.We kept you in stasis until we could consult with several experts."
That might explain why I felt so fucking weird."Alright," I said, flicking the days ahead on my calendar."I don't have much time then.I've got to get back on my feet and – and…"
What came next?Today was Day Nine, so Araxis and I were supposed to decide on an alliance, and then on the tenth day we'd fuck and…
I hadn't realized my attempt at getting Grigor removed would throw our entire plan into chaos.And I couldn'ttalkto Araxis about it.
Silver Sea sat in silence, watching me carefully.I glanced at her, then back down to the floor.She saw too much, and I didn't feel enough in control to have a full handle on my features.Who knew what she might see?
"Is Araxis okay?"I asked finally."Was he upset?"
"Upsetis a… mild descriptor," Silver Sea said."Would it be distressing for you to view the footageof the assault?The resolution is poor: the camera drone was very far away."
I shook my head, so she sent it my way and I watched it.Then I watched it again.And one more time, just to take it in: his speed, his efficiency, how easily he dropped Grigor, how fluid his movements were, how certain.
How he held me until help came.
My mouth was dry, and even though I didn't feel pain anywhere in my body, I could imagine the ghost of it in my face: radiating in shards from my nose, the crunch of my eye socket, the wet wheeze of my larynx.
"I should see him," I said after a long time.
