"Yes," said Silver Sea.
"Can I go to his room?"
"Yes."Then, after a pause, "You understand that there are cameras."
I nodded, numb.
"If you name yourselves as allies – and it is expected, given this footage – I can coordinate a press conference for the two of you to answer questions and address what happened with Grigor Spade.It will be beneficial for both of you.I am certain there will be many questions about your feelings for one another."She looked at me significantly.
"I can't tellhimwhat I toldyou," I said, flushing."You've just said he's a prince, Silver Sea.I'm a human dancer with a shitload of debtand I’m being hounded by a cult that wants to abduct me.I don’t havemuch going for me.Come on – what a fucking joke."
She watched me for a long moment, golden eyes bright, and then she stood up and strode over to the small counter top where I had tea and a kettle.She poured a glass of water and then pressed it into my hands while I stillsat on the edge of the bed, feeling almost as if I were floating two inches above my body."You are amenable to a press conference, however?"
I agreed and she left me alone so that I could get cleaned up and try to shake loose the last remains of my stasis and whatever kind of healing they'd used on me.Before leaving, Silver Sea reminded me, again, that I would be under scrutiny, although she input a private channel from my wristband to her own."Be mindful to be slightly less obvious than you usually are," she added testily, but before she left she patted me twice on the top of my head and made sure I drank my water, so I figured she wasn'ttoomad at me in the end.
After all, I'd already gone a long way toward making her rich.
As I moved through my room,tryingto convince my muscles and limbs to cooperate,afaint humming picked up from the walls and corners.That musthave beenthe quiet electric buzz of the cameras and mics booting back up.
So I figured I might as well put on a show.I rolled my shoulders, popped a few joints, paced back and forth, slow at first and then faster.It helped, being up and shifting around.I worked my way through a series of careful stretches, twisting and turning.Inch by inch, I started to feel more like myself, even as I was aware that I was being watched and scrutinized.I poured myself some more water, rolled my neck, and then did a few quick sword sequences in the small space of my room.I eyed the place where the pole was hidden, but I didn't trust myself enough to be upside down just yet.All I needed was a little movement to put me back inside the confines of my body.
I spent an indulgent length of time standing in the shower, letting steam gather on my skin until it became little rivulets of water cascading downwards.Once I was dripping, I scoured my body in an attempt to strip back all the strangeness I felt until it was just me again.
My reflection in the mirror was startling: there were no lingering marks to show how thoroughly I'd been broken.I forced myself to stare into my own dark eyes in the mirror, taking stock.Maybe I looked a little haunted, but that could have been the dramatic lighting in the bathroom.
Did I feel haunted?Was I rattled?
It was so hard to say.I knew I'd thrown a wrench into things, but somehow I'd gotten us an ally, and with the Tournament drawing nearer by the minute, we'd need the help.
I'd also committed more fully to being Enemy #1 of Seraphim and its affiliated business ventures.So that was less good.
I wasalsoa little shaken by how easily Grigor had dropped me, and then almost killed me.Araxis moved like an avenging angel.I was more like a lump, bleeding and vulnerable – a hindrance.
It wouldn't be like that in the Tournament, though.I'd have my swords, and I'd be present in the moment, instead of trying to act and manipulate and provoke someone into violence for my own ends.
And we'd be together, Araxis and I.A team.I knew how good it felt, how easy it was, when we danced through the sequences; how we understood each other's instincts, our movements, our bodies.
We'd be safe together.
All I needed to do now was propose an alliance, officially and on camera.
I got dressed, pulling on something soft and comfortable with one of my lumpy sweaters – the gray one with different length sleeves – on top.When I stepped into the hygiene room, my eyes landed on the place where I'd hidden that note Araxis had written me.I pulled it out, looking at the precise letters again.I have you.I'm yours.
I had to stop for a moment, my heart throbbing as I leaned against the wall and pressed that silly piece of paper to my chest.I could almost hear him breathing against my skin.I'm yours, he'd murmured.You're mine.
Maybe I had lied to Silver Sea,more than I’d meant to.I didn'tthinkI was falling in love with him; I was, and I knew it.There, in the one tiny sliver of privacy I was allowed,I could admit that much to myselfeven if the thought made me feel raw, vulnerable.I inhaled deep and slow, and tucked the note back underneath the jar before braving the room outside.
All that was left was to see Araxis.I fussed with my hair a little to make it look half-decent, and then I pulled up the interface on my wristband and typed out a message.
I'm up and about and very much alive, thanks to you.Could I come and see you?And then, on impulse and as if he didn't already know who the message was from,Yours, Sashen.
I waited, inexplicably nervous, as if he might ever say no.But I didn't need to wait long.His reply came soon enough and simply said,Yes, please come.
So I was off to speak with my own prince charming.
The first thing I said to him was, "I'm sorry."I blurted it out the moment the door opened, and I could only hope that he understood that I meant my hasty apology in layers.
I was sorry I'd been reckless.I was sorry I'd made him worry.I was sorry I'd been weak andhadfucked up our timeline.
