Vulnerability isn’t weakness.
Huffing out a sigh, I shoved the voice to the back of my mind and swallowed the tears. They didn’t do any good. Not now. Not anymore. I’d cried enough for him when I first started to ignore him. And I had no reason to cry, considering it was all my fault.Iwas the one who stopped answering his calls and texts, so I had no one to blame for my misery except myself.
It was just easier to try to find some reason to blame him.
But I didn’t want to be angry. Especially when I had finally swallowed my pride and contacted him. I just had to hope he’d listen and try to understand. That he would give me another chance to prove I wasn’t an asshole and that I was worth his time and the effort.
Fuck.
None of this was doing me any good. And I didn’t have anything else planned for the day, so I dragged myself back out of bed and into the bathroom. I turned on the water for theshower, as hot as I could stand it, and while I waited for it to heat up, I went to the medicine cabinet over the sink and grabbed my meds.
I fucking hated taking them. But they helped. Most of the time.
Swallowing the pills, I looked in the mirror and cursed the puffiness in my eyes. With a shake of my head, I turned away and got undressed and slid into the shower with a hiss as the water heated my chilled skin.
While I debated with myself on whether or not I should jerk off, I washed my hair. All I could think about was how I wanted my Daddy to fuck me and take me apart, to own me and ruin me for all other men. But if there was even the slightest chance things would go my way, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have already come.
I wasn’t supposed to come unless Daddy said I could.
My eyes traveled down to my dick as the water rinsed my hair and I frowned.
Not even a twitch.
Dammit. I was so in my head over all the shit, that even when I was thinking about getting fucked, I didn’t get hard.
But I guessed that answered whether or not I was jerking off in the shower, since my dick wasn’t on board with the suggestion.
Sighing, I grabbed the soap and made quick work of washing and rinsing my body. The shower was no longer the relaxing activity I had hoped it would be, that would help me get my mind off of all thoughts that wouldn’t leave me alone.
I let out a frustrated growl as I turned the water off and reached for the towel to dry off. Nothing was going right and I couldn’t figure out how to get it all back on track.
The thought crossed my mind that Daddy would be able to help, that was what he was there for and good at, but a bitter laugh escaped my lips because I wasn’t sure he would.
Not anymore.
I stepped out of the bathroom, towel loosely wrapped around my hips, and stopped dead in my tracks.
“What are you doing here?” I hadn’t meant for it to sound like an accusation, but the way his eyebrow quirked up as he leaned back on his hands, lounging on my bed as if he had every right to be there, made my heart flutter.
He stood with a smirk and his eyes glinted as he took in my appearance. “I thought I’d surprise you. Didn’t think I’d be the one getting the surprise.”
My mouth opened and closed a few times as confusion clouded my mind. There were too many thoughts bombarding my mind, not to mention horniness at his sudden closeness. “How did you get in here?”
Nate chuckled and trailed a finger down my arm, leaving goose bumps in its wake.
“I’m serious.” I took a step back. At first, I’d been annoyed at myself for that being the first thing out of my mouth. But I had a damn good alarm system. I was a cop, for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t go breaking into my house.
Except, it wasn’t the first time.
I eyed him warily as I sidestepped him, adrenaline spiking.
“Where do you think you’re doing, little bird?” He watched me with the eyes of a predator and I was so fucked that it made my dick hard. I wanted to run, but I also wanted him to catch me.
“You said you were busy. Why did you brush me off if you were just going to come over?”
He folded his arms over his chest, his lips pursed in a thin line. “You mean like you brushed me off since we left your parents’ house?”
I cringed, knowing he was right. No matter how much I regretted it, that didn’t change the facts.
