My shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Defeated, I walked over to the bed and plopped down. “I’ve been miserable without you. Every day, I wanted to call or text.”
“But you didn’t.”
I let my head hang in shame.
“I didn’t.” The words were barely a whisper. “I got so wrapped up in my head, worrying about what other people—what my parents—would think of me, of us, that I couldn’t deal with it. I didn’t want to think about it.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nate lean against the wall. He didn’t look happy and my heart sank. I’d fucked everything up and I was going to lose the one man who I could have loved for the rest of my life.
Shit.
I didn’t know when the hell that had happened, but the realization had tears streaming down my face. Biting my lip, I tore my gaze away from him, afraid he’d see the truth in my face.
“The truth is, I’ve never been with anyone like you, never had aDaddy. And all of it, I think it scared me. How much I liked it, wanted it, needed it… you. That I became terrified I’d lose you.
My breath hitched and I wished my pills would kick in faster or I was going to have a full-fledged panic attack on Nate. And that was the last thing I wanted him to deal with.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on anything else. “You never answered me. What happened to whatever you were busy with?”
Nate grunted. “I left an associate to take care of it. It’s fine.”
I looked up, biting my lip. “What about us? Are we?”
20
NATHAN
Aiden scampered back on the bed away from me as I glared down at my boy and I wanted to be angry. Everything in me wanted to turn around and walk away and forget about him. To leave him and never think about him again because I knew it was what I should do.
Except that was a lie.
More than anything, I wanted to fall at his feet and chase away the sadness and banish his demons. But I was his demon, the cause of his sadness. So, maybe Ishouldhave just left him, but I was a selfish asshole.
Where do you think you’re going, boy?
But I didn’t trust myself to say anything at the moment, so I turned and went to his dresser. Taking my time, I rustled through his drawers. Behind me, there were several noises of protests coming from him, but I ignored them. When I found what I was looking for, I turned back and marched over toward him.
I motioned with my free hand for him to stand. He cautiously stood, shaking in nothing but his flimsy towel.
With a sigh, I set down the clothes I picked out, except forthe soft cotton boxers. I looked up, raising an eyebrow. He flushed and raised first one foot and then the other, to allow me to put the underwear on him. Before I pulled them up over his hips, I tugged off the towel, but I ignored his cock that had sprung to life and was begging for attention.
But that wasn’t what he needed at the moment, even if he begged to differ.
Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was doing either. But I knew he was freezing and I was supposed to take care of him. So, that meant I couldn’t let him stay in the towel any longer.
Once the boxers were in place, I gave him a soft kiss on one hip and then the other.
A slow smile spread across my lips, sure that the shiver that ran through his body wasn’t just because he was cold that time.
I reached behind him and grabbed the soft, fuzzy bottoms I’d pulled from the drawer. He hated to admit it, but he loved the feel of the fleece against his skin, the way it was soft and warm.
He made a choked humming noise that was half a question, but I ignored it.
When the pants were on, I smoothed my hands up and down his legs, rubbing the material against his skin. Aiden sighed and leaned against me, as though he were a balloon that lost all of his air. But that was okay. I’d hold him up if he needed me to.
Aiden looked up at me, sleepy and happy despite the fact he still was shivering without a shirt on. But I would remedy that. I quickly grabbed the soft flannel shirt and tugged it on. I buttoned it all the way up to his neck and the chuckle he let out made my heart soar.
