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His feelings for Jane, about Jane, were a kind of betrayal she’d never been prepared to feel.
Patrick’s wife. Jane.
It changed everything, tainted everything. If he’d hated the woman, if he’d just purely loathed her, it might have been okay; Bryn could have learned to live with that. But it had been
that little flash of compassion, of regret, that had destroyed her.
And now he looked at Bryn, and she looked at him, and she didn’t understand him at all, not at all. He was a man who’d romanced Jane. Who’d kissed Jane. Who’d dreamed of a family with Jane.
It didn’t even matter if it had ended in bitterness, divorce, anger. He’d loved her once, and that made Bryn want to die.
“We have to go,” she said. Her voice still had that eerie sound, flat and mechanical, unfeeling, as if the nanites were talking for her. “If they can track me, we can’t hide here. We need to go somewhere safe. ”
Liam looked hugely relieved at that, pitifully grateful that they didn’t have to discuss Jane. “The mansion is strong, but not defensible against a genuine assault. This place, on the other hand…”
“No,” Patrick said. His voice was rough and low, but under control again. He blinked, and that animal shine left his eyes. “Can’t stay here. She came here once. She’d know its weak spots. ” She meant Jane. Now that his anger had passed, he had that stricken look again, as if he was afraid he’d gone mad.
She was wondering if she’d gone mad. If all this was some dream she’d escaped into, to evade the reality of Jane and her cutting smiles. Maybe none of this was really happening. That would, in fact, be better. It’d mean that she didn’t have to live in a world where Jane Desmond Franklin had been married to the man she loved.
Patrick finally snapped out of it long enough to say, “Everyone in the van on the east side. We’ll leave Mercer’s car behind. ”
“Everyone? Including these two?” Liam looked down at Freddy and Mercer, who were struggling against their bonds.
“I’m not leaving anyone for Jane. Not even them. ” Patrick, to prove it, grabbed Fast Freddy under the shoulders and dead-dragged him to a door Bryn hadn’t even noticed. …It was small, inset, and he had to hunch to get through it as he shoved it open with Freddy’s shirt collar crushed in one fist.
Liam grabbed Mercer and towed him toward the same exit.
Bryn didn’t move for a moment. I could just run, she thought. I could just run and get away from all this. …
But she needed the shots, didn’t she? In the end, it always came down to that, to one more day of survival. She didn’t want to be in the same vehicle with Patrick right now; she didn’t want to know how all this shook out. She didn’t want to hear about his life with Jane.
She wanted it to not be true at all.
Liam paused in the doorway and looked back at her, and said, “You can’t stay, Bryn. Come on. Hurry. ”
“Who is he, Liam? Really?” It burst out of her in a rush, and she wished she could take it back, because the fact was, she really didn’t even want to know. She already knew too much.
Liam shook his head. “Not the time. Come on. Now, Bryn—we have to clear the estate as well. Your sister’s still there. ”
That got her moving, finally; the idea that she’d let anything happen to Annalie was unthinkable. She’d done enough to her sister already—and once again, she’d plunged her into something uncontrollable, and dangerous. Mr. French. She thought about her dog, too; she couldn’t leave him behind. Jane would love to find something Bryn loved, just so she could take it apart.
She took a step, and—to her surprise—stumbled. Her thigh muscles felt weak, and trembled unsteadily as she righted herself. Her arms were tingling, too. Bryn knew this feeling all too well; she felt chilled now, too, as the nanites exhausted their power and stopped their very necessary repairs to the ongoing destruction. Death couldn’t be stopped, only delayed, and she could feel it creeping through her body like shadows.
Liam knew it, too; she saw it in his face. “I’ll give you the injection in the van,” he said. “Hurry. ”
She stopped and said, “No. ” Even Mercer, being dragged, looked taken by surprise. “Give me a shot right now. I’m taking Mercer’s car. I’ll get Annie. ”
“And go where?” Liam asked. “If the people who held you have the tracking frequencies…”
“Then I’ll lead them someplace they can’t go,” Bryn said. “Right to the gates of Pharmadene. ” It was the only logical choice; if she couldn’t hide, she could make it next to impossible for Jane and her bosses to get their hands on her and Annalie. Let Patrick and Liam find their own hole to crawl in. He lied to me. He should have told me about Jane, about his wife. …
She didn’t say it, but she didn’t have to—Liam knew. He opened a pocket in his vest, took out a syringe, and crossed the room to deliver the injection.
She hardly felt it at all. Her scale of pain had widened quite a bit.
When it was done, Liam smoothed his hand gently over the injection site, a gesture of comfort, but even that made her flinch. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Be careful. I’ll tell him—something. ”
“He should have told me something, too,” Bryn said. “Liam—thank you. For everything. ”
