Oh, tell him something he didn’t know.
“I see. That’s the problem, Callen. I have no place anywhere. I’m between two worlds. You’re the Blackhawk. I’m the half-breed. Don’ think I don’t see it when Natives look at meor hear it when they mumble under their breaths. I’m too white to be here, and too tan to be out there. I’ll never be good enough for anyone.”
Callen hurt for him.
Because he understood.
Callen had no place outside of here.
“I want nothing more than to have you here, EJ. I want nothing more than to have a relationship with you. I just know that we’re not those boys anymore. We’re not those men now,” he said, falling on his sword for his brother.
If he stayed, Callen would ask him to never leave him again, and it would be both of their downfalls.
Their ends.
Ethan got it.
Well, he’d not seen this coming. Callen not only had grown a spine, but he’d found a way to shove Ethan out of his life.
Once and for all.
“Every time you come back, and you leave a gift for me, it’s a battle yet to happen. I told you that I wanted off the merry-go-round. I wasn’t kidding. Don’t come here. Don’t keep coming back.Let. Me. Go.”
Ethan’s heart hurt.
It was official.
He’d broken Callen one too many times, and now, he didn’t want to be put back together. He wanted to forget about him.
That was a common theme in Ethan’s life.
“You left and you need to stay away. I appreciate you being drawn here, but what we had…it’s dead.”
And there it was.
Callen said the words to hurt Ethan to save him from what lived here. He said the words to shove him out, so he could have a chance at happiness.
Gene clearly loved him, and he’d protect him in ways Callen couldn’t.
This hurt Callen in so many ways, but he was doing it for his brother. He’d never accept himself and truly love Callen back, so someone had to do it.
“For myself, I have to let the ghost of Ethan past go. You will never love me like that again, and I know it.New Orleanstold me that. We could have created something there, together. Instead, I was left with pain, and a hooker. That’s all that was there for me, Ethan. Now, I need to you leave and go find you.”
He let his brother talk.
“I had hope. I believed that you could love me again. I believed that we could be brothers. I’m not ready. While I don’t hate you, EJ. I can’t love you anymore. You will never forgive me and love me like that. You’ll never see that what we had all those years ago was the blueprint to our lives together. You moved on, and I stayed behind. I need you to go.”
Tears filled Callen’s eyes.
The icy chill was back in Ethan, and he could feel the hurt and hate. It was better for him to hate him than to come here and be trapped.
Timothy didn’t want him here, and that said it all. If the Shaman was saying this place was dangerous for Ethan, someone had to help him leave.
Callen was that someone.
Ethan deserved a chance.
One of them did.
