“Please don’t come back here. Go live your life and never look back. Don’t let the old man lure you here, and don’t run to this shitshow. You got out. Stay out.”
Ethan hurt.
He’d said a lot in his letter to Callen, and he’d meant all of it. He had been ready to love him and be back. For Callen, he’d risk it.
And now this.
Callen moved closer to him. He was inches from him.
“I will always love you,” he said, putting his hand over Ethan’s chest. “I will always carry that love for you. I just know that I’m not good for you, and being here is worse. We’re the cancer, EJ. If I’m the reason you’ll keep returning and suffering, I’ll make sure you don’t come back here.”
“Callen.”
He stopped him.
“Don’t come back here. Again, there is nothing here for you. That bridge is burned and gone. One of us has to be strong enough to say the words. Goodbye, EJ.”
Ethan put his hand over his on his chest.
A tear dripped from Callen’s lashes, and Ethan heard what he was saying.
The bridge that he’d burned down was gone. It wasn’t Callen’s fault, or Timothy’s. He could have been kind and better, but he hadn’t been.
That was on him.
Now, the only other person who truly had a connection to him wanted him to leave.
So, he’d give it to him.
“When this case is done, I’ll leave. I won’t come back. I won’t return, even if the world destroys me. I understand, Callen, and you don’t have to carry it. I’ll carry it. I left in anger, and I’ll stay away in anger. Goodbye.”
His heart hurt.
“Ethan.”
He stopped him.
“No. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t tell me you love me and tell me to leave. Timothy did that to me. He told me he loved me and let them take me. Now, the only person I have left who carries half my blood doesn’t want me here. I don’t need a babysitter to tell me where to go. What I needed was a brother who would let me run to him if I needed him. I destroyed that, so I’ll carry it.”
Callen said nothing.
He’d clearly accomplished what he’d wanted. Deep down, he’d seen Ethan living, and having a relationship that he’d never be afforded.
And it hurt.
Now, he’d told him to leave because of the feelings he had for him.
Months ago, he would have given his testicles to have him back and have him treat him like he wasn’t the plague but seeing him with Gene made him wake up to scary truths.
Ethan had a chance at life, and Callen wanted that for him.
“So, I’ll give you this last request. Since I unfairly used you to run from here, because of Kaya Cheek, and we both know it, I’ll go away. This is your home. Me and my mother were outsiders here, and I’ll never forget that I still am. I’m only a white man here. I see it. I feel it.”
As Gene headed their way, he saw them standing together and didn’t know if he should say something. The tension was thick again.
Only, before he could say a word, Ethan heard him walking through the snow.
“Are the police here?” he asked. “The Chief of Police was just telling me goodbye. For good. Apparently, I’m not wanted here, even though this was once my home.”
