“I don’t want you to regret us one day. I don’t want you to wake up when we’re fifty and think that you wasted your life with me.”
Gene tucked some of his hair behind his ear and was grateful they were having a conversation about this. It was better than keeping it in.
“I won’t. Will you?”
Ethan laughed.
“Gene, you’re the only thing holding my head above water at this point in my life. I was taken from my comfort zone in DC and dumped inPhilly. I made a tactical error with Javier Hughes, and he’s trying to kill you and possibly me. I came backhere and nearly destroyed our relationship. The onlyGOODthing in all of this is you. I regret a lot in my life, but you are most definitely not part of that regret.”
Gene felt a little better.
Now, he knew he was on firm ground, and he could dig in and fight for Ethan.
“I love being with you, EJ. I’m worried because I can feel your energy. Since I got hurt in Puerto Rico, it’s been off. It was off when Corbin and Will got married. It was off when I showed up here. I’m just trying to get you back to that point where we vibed. I’m not sure how to do it this time.”
Ethan held Gene’s hand in his lap.
“Then just let me work through it. While I’d love to go to a lodge and soak in a hot tub with you, what I really want is to go home.”
“To DC?”
He shook his head.
“No, toPhilly. I want to go to our condo, lie on the couch, and watch movies with you. I want to order pizza and cuddle. I want to feel safe, and I want to be with my partner where I can just be…me. I don’t feel like I’m that Ethan here. I don’t like pretending. I’m pretty straightforward. I hate putting on a façade. I like who I am when it’s just us together.”
Gene understood.
Ethan wanted out of there, so he’d get them out of there.
“Okay, so we wrap this up, head home, and I whip your ass in Clue a few times to show my dominancy.”
Ethan laughed.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he joked. “Baby steps.”
Gene took that moment to sneak a kiss to their joined knuckles because he wanted Ethan to know he was in for the long haul.
“I love you,” he offered.
Ethan was well aware.
“I love you too. Just be patient with me, Babe. I’m struggling, but not with you. If it were with you, you’d know it because I would say something.”
He’d thought that, but…
“When you ran…”
Ethan knew.
“And I’m working on fixing that. I might be working on a case, but in the back of my mind, there are things bouncing around. Just give me time to get adjusted, and I’ll be back. Just love me as much as you can, and don’t let me go. I’ll handle the rest. If you don’t let me learn how to be strong, if anything ever happens to you, I won’t survive.”
That was a very good point.
They had dangerous jobs, and if Javier Hughes got to him, Ethan would be alone. So, he’d be patient and let the man get his bearings.
And he’d catch him if he fell.
Screw people watching.
