Page 32 of Don't Tell

"You — what?"

"Thank you for the clothes."

"I was preparing for you to yell at me."

"I have decided to ration."

There is silence. It is uncomfortable at first, but I break it.

"Why do you yell at me every time I try to help you?"

"Why do you never back off?"

I laugh. It surprises her. The corner of her mouth moves. Then the laugh fades.

We are looking at each other.

I cross the room slowly, and I don't break eye contact. She does not move.

I stop in front of her. She is sitting. I'm standing. I touch her cheek. I drag two fingers down the line of her jaw. I bring my hand to the side of her throat — my palm warm against the cold of her skin.

I press my forehead against hers. She makes a small sound.

"Can I kiss you?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"We can't start this. We just — Cade. We can't start this."

"I'm willing to take the risk."

"That is easy for you to say."

"Tell me why it isn't easy for you."

She pulls back. "I have a lot to lose. I could lose my job. I could lose my apartment. What do you have to lose? Tell me… Nothing."

"You don't have to lose your job."

"You're going to throw money at me again."

"No."

"Then how?"

"You don't have to lose your job… Not if we keep it a secret."

9.Suzanne

“What?”

His hand is still on my throat. I can feel my own pulse against the pad of his thumb. He can feel it too.

“Nobody has to know, Suzanne. It can be our little secret.”

He is staring at me. He means it. For a brief second, I imagine us sneaking around. I never considered being with him in any shape or form until this moment, and it actually seems possible.