Page 76 of Don't Tell

"Did you pay my mother?"

His eyes widen for a second, and then they go back to their normal form. “Yes, I did. Because it was the right thing to do. She wasn’t supposed to contact you. I’m going to…"

"No, you’re not going to do anything. I can’t believe you don’t understand how insane that is."

“I did what I had to do to get her out of your life.”

“Well, clearly, it didn’t work since she called me to gloat.”

“That’s why you should let me…”

“My god, listen to yourself. I don’t want you reaching out to my mother. She’s my burden to handle.”

“Suzanne, I’m here to carry that burden for you. I’m not complaining.”

“But we’re a secret, aren’t we? How will you explain your undying devotion to me?”

He doesn’t say anything for a beat.

“That’s not the point. The point is I’ll keep doing right by you, no matter what. That’s why I punched Brandt in the face, and I’ll do it again if I have to.”

“You did what?”

“He wasn’t just interested in your art, Suzanne. He wanted you.”

I don’t speak for a second. “Okay, Brandt deserved it, but that isn't the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"You didn't tell me. You keep making decisions for me, Cade. Do you think so little of me that you didn't believe I could handle my own mother?”

"No."

"Then what was it?"

"Suzanne, I was just trying to help."

"I didn’t ask for your help."

I turn and walk out of the room.

19.Cade

I don’t move for a long time after she walks out.

I’m standing in the middle of the living room of the guesthouse with my hand still half-raised from where I reached for her, and she was no longer there. The lamp is on.

I sit down on the couch slowly.

I run through it.

I paid her mother so that she would stop calling. I punched Brandt because he deserved it. I kept the relationship quiet because that is what we agreed. I have been handling the hard things so she did not have to.

That is what I have been doing.

I sit with the thought for ten minutes. I turn it from different angles. I try to make it hold.

It does not hold.