Page 78 of Don't Tell

"I’m not telling you what to do, Cade."

She comes around the counter and puts her hand on top of mine. The hand is small, dry, and warm.

"Whatever you have been holding back from letting this person in, you need to stop. I know you love her."

My head comes up, and I find her looking back at me.

"I can see it in how you look at her. You don’t bring people here. You didn’t even bring Theo until you were nineteen. You brought her on the second-worst day of your life because the thought of doing it without her was worse than the thought of doing it with her. I know what that looks like."

I look at the cup.

I don’t say anything for a long time.

"You don’t have to keep the whole thing in your hand, Cade. You are allowed to put it down. You are allowed to let her see it. You are allowed to be a man who has something to lose. Open your heart all the way. You have been protecting it for a long time, and I'm proud of you for every way you have. But you don't have to anymore."

She squeezes my hand and lets it go.

"I love you."

She turns back to the stove.

I sit at the counter and let it all sink in.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out. "Thank you."

I stand.

"Go find her."

Beau is on the front porch.

He has a beer that is mostly full and the small, unsurprised face of a man who has been waiting for the next round of his own usefulness.

"You took your time."

"Mom held me up."

"She would."

He gestures with the beer at the rocking chair next to him. I don’t sit. He does not push.

"I like her."

"I know."

"I’m rooting for you."

"Thank you."

"Also, the artist cover story today was the worst lie I have ever heard you tell. I’m embarrassed on your behalf."

I almost laugh. I don’t, but it is close.

"Why are you out here?"

"Air. The wine auction is in two weeks. I’m avoiding the spreadsheet by pretending to take a meditative time in the dark on a porch. We can talk about it tomorrow." He nods toward the lawn. "Go find your girl."

I go.