The pain she feels floods our connection, and I have to suck in a breath to steady myself against it.
“I never intended to betray that trust,” I say, reaching for her slowly. She allows me to place my hand on her cheek. Her skin burns beneath my touch. A fever, no doubt. “Everything I have done,” I continue, “has been for your sake.”
Her violet eyes flick up to meet mine. “That’s the problem,” she says as the first tear slips from her eye and falls onto her cheek. “You’re making choicesforme instead ofwithme. That’s not how a partnership works. That’s not how you show someone that you love them.”
Her words pierce through my ribs as easily as a blade, and I’m still struggling with them as she pulls away, severing the connection between my fingers and her skin.
At the same time, the thread between us feels like it’s beginning to fray. And Maeve must feel it too, for she reaches up to place a hand over her heart.
“I...” I search for words that will not come. I don’t know how to fix this while protecting her at the same time. I’ve never done this before, and I feel wholly unprepared.
With a heavy sigh, I shake my head and whisper, “I’m sorry, Maeve.”
That seems to solidify something for her. She draws herself up and wipes a hand across her cheek, drying the tear that fell. “I can’t be half loved,” she says. “That’s not how this works.”
My gaze finds hers. Quietly, I ask, “What are you saying?”
More mist gathers in her eyes, but she blinks it away, refusing to let it fall. “I’m saying...” She bites her lip, eyes shining in the pale winter light coming through my frosty office window. “I’m saying I’m done.”
At those two words,I’m done, it feels like my world tilts sideways. My blood rushes through my ears, drowning out all other sounds.
The thread between us stretches thin. Something inside me feels raw, directionless. Like I’m adrift now, floating in an endless sea, where before, Maeve was my anchor, my harbor.
She turns.
And I know I should say something. But what can I say to fix this? I’m trying to protect her.
From me. From a permanent fusion that would change everything.
I’ve been alive for centuries. Being connected to Maeve would be a gift for a vampire like me.
But that’s not the case for her. She has one life to live—one short, beautiful life. And I cannot let her waste it on me.
My body begs me to follow her. But I force myself to stand there silently, teeth gritted and fangs aching, as she opens my office door, pauses for one breath, and then slips out into the corridor, closing the door as she goes.
And I’m immediately haunted by my choices.
Protection over love.
Freedom over us.
I step back around my desk and lower myself into my office chair, dropping my head into my trembling hands. Tears flood my eyes, blurring my vision.
And as the connection between us continues to fray, sending spiderwebs of pain lancing through my chest, I allow myself to break, fully and completely.
For the first time in hundreds of years.
Chapter 49
Maeve
I’M HALFWAY UP THE STAIRS to NT33 when a dizzy spell comes over me, sending me staggering and reaching for the stone wall for support. My head spins, and my heart pounds hard and fast, leaving me gasping for breath.
“Maeve,” Isis hisses against my skin. “Maeve, are you okay?”
I want to answer her, but I’m too out of breath. I lean against the wall and slide down it so I’m sitting on a stair, hands and knees shaking.
“I’m . . . just . . . a bit dizzy,” I finally say.
