Quinn startled from her thoughts as Elise came screeching from the sidelines. Barreling into the tower with deep green eyes alight and arms outstretched, she slammed into the pillar with a gleeful squeal. Tumbling through the falling blocks to the floor, she screamed her delight at the chaos and destruction she’d produced.
The ecstatic girl didn’t care about the light wooden bricks as they pummeled into her soft body. She laughed all the harder for it.
“Elise,” Meghan said with a gasp, rushing forward with arms out as if she would snatch Elise up to protect her.
One brow rising, Quinn scoffed and waved Meghan away. Shaking her head, she pulled Elise from the wreckage, her wry smirk turning into an outright grin as Adam began laughing just as hard as his sister. Grabbing hold of his leg, Quinn yanked him closer, making him squeal and cackle before she folded both children into her embrace to blow raspberries wherever she could and mock bite their little limbs.
It wasn’t long before Quinn began to pant, a cold sweat breaking out across her forehead. Arms heavy, she let the squirming children go to topple to her back. Heart hammering in her eardrums, she struggled to get a full breath. The ghost of pain coiled around her middle, tightening in ever smaller circles as her chest heaved. Bile seared its way up the back of her throat, burning through her sinuses as she forced down the urge to throw up.
She didn’t want them to see her that way again. It had been hard enough the first time.
With a shaky breath, Quinn hauled herself upright by sheer force of will, muscles a tangle of overcooked noodles. Slapping a cheery smile on her lips, she looked at her children and prayed they wouldn’t see the pain and fear that were her constant companions.
This was her life now. There would be no running with two children in tow, not after what Tobias had done to her. He had ruined her, along with any chance of getting away.
“I think it’s time for a nap,” Quinn said, keeping her voice as light and airy as she could.
“No! No nap time!” Adam’s face twisted, an indignant blush staining his cheeks. His little hands snatched at the blocks, cradling the toys close to his chest as if Quinn would take them away.
“Not for you, silly bean.” Smile faltering, Quinn brushed a lock of hair from Adam’s forehead. “I need to rest.”
Adam’s lower lip trembled where it jutted out before he threw himself into Quinn. The weight of him sent her tumbling back, his little body half sprawled across hers as he whined and wrapped his arms tight around Quinn’s neck. Burrowing into the warmth of her shoulder, nose pressed tight to her neck where her scent was strongest, Quinn could feel the first fat tear sliding down her skin.
“Oh, baby boy, it’s okay,” Quinn murmured, hands drifting over his back as she soothed with a quiet hum.
“Nuh-uh.” Voice thick, Adam snuggled closer, wrapping himself around Quinn. He didn’t even budge when Elise bounced her way to them, flopping into Quinn’s other side with a gurgling babble of syllables.
Quinn didn’t argue. Couldn’t while her stomach did a slow twist and the room spun before she clenched her eyes shut. Instead she palmed the back of Elise’s head and urged her daughter to snuggle in, uncaring how her chest constricted with more than the tears burning the back of her eyes.
This particular hell was untenable. She had to find a way to convince him, to make him stop forcing her to swallow those damned pills.
They lay like that for as long as Quinn could convince two babies to remain still. Until their restless shifting, little bodies full of too much energy, began to poke and prod her with knobby knees and elbows. Grunting as she struggled upright with the weight of both kids, Quinn looked out at the dreary gray skies. There’d be no letting them run outside today.
“How about a story,” Quinn asked, smoothing their hair back so she could see both their faces.
Adam sniffled and nodded, clambering down from Quinn’s lap to trot over to the small bookcase. Concentration intense, he squinted at the titles as if the letters made perfect sense to him. Elise stuck her tongue out, spraying Quinn with saliva as she blew a raspberry. Her mad giggles joined Quinn wiping away the spittle with a palm.
As Adam began to pull several books from the case, Quinn made a game of crawling to the large overstuffed chair that stood sentry in the corner. Elise followed along, knees and hands a near blur as she hurried to keep up.
By the time they were all situated in the seat, both children sprawled across Quinn’s lap, she was exhausted. Not daring to close her eyes for even a moment lest she drop right off, she focused her concentration on the vivid pictures and bright pages, making sure she spoke slow enough that Adam could keep up.
Through the first book, Meghan fussed and fidgeted, distracting them all as she moved around the room to pick up the array of blocks and the soft toys Elise had dumped out of her toy container. During the second she looked on with mild reproach, as if Quinn was doing something wrong.
Perhaps she was. It wasn’t as if she knew what she was doing. Following instinct, what seemed to be common sense, Quinn did her best.
Three books later, Quinn thanked whatever God was in charge of such things that they were so short. As she closed the hard cover on the last story about eggs and ham, she breathed a sigh of relief. Head pounding with the dull throb of a magnificent headache, the glaring colors were killing her one crisp page at a time. Eyes drifting shut more often than they remained open, there was no way she could get through one more.
“Another!”
“Not now, Adam. You need—”
“It’s time for lunch, Adam,” Meghan said, breezing closer to the chair to urge him down. Smile soft, she pulled Elise from Quinn’s side to prop on a hip. Warm brown eyes turning to Quinn, her eyebrows lifted into something hopeful. “You’ll join us?”
“I, um… I don’t think…”
“Mama eat!”
“Adam, stop yelling,” Quinn hissed, fingertips finding her temple as his shrill scream ran a jagged course straight into her eardrum.
