I left Vegas with a broken heart.
While I was gone, I nursed it back to health only to have it broken again.
Ultimately, she showed her true colors. It didn’t matter what caused it or why. The truth would’ve come out eventually, and I would have seen her for what she is.
I’m better off alone. It was a lesson I thought I learned when my ex married my brother, but as it turns out, it took a completely new relationship to really hammer that one home.
The true answer to Danny’s question is more complicated.
I fell in love. I had my heart broken. She betrayed me. But it wasn’t just that. I was there to lay low, and suddenly…I couldn’t.
I was being recognized everywhere because of one stupid video. Granted, I was going most places with Danny and Cooper, who are much more famous than me. But still. It wasn’t the quiet, peaceful experience I’d been having up to that point. It became more of a nightmare, and so I opted the fuck out.
“Come on, man. Talk to me,” Danny says.
I hold both hands up. “What do you want me to say?”
“That it had something to do with the woman you mentioned. You walked out without a goodbye, and it’s okay to let someone in.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’m very wise, you know.”
“Then why’s Cooper always calling you a dipshit?”
He laughs. “You got me there. But, dude, you always shut everybody out. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there’s more room on the outside. Keeping it buried doesn’t help anything.”
I know he’s right.
But it’s hard. I don’t talk about this shit—feelings, needs, emotions.
“I fell for the girl, and she’s the one whose video went viral with us in the background. She did it on purpose. She went live knowing someone would recognize us when I specifically told her I didn’t want to be in her content.”
He blows out a breath. “Yeah, that’s a tough one. Can I ask why you didn’t want to appear in her content?”
I nod out the window. “You saw what happened when the four of us were together. That’s why. I don’t need people knowing where I am and what I’m doing.”
He’s quiet, and I think I’ve made my point. But then he asks, “You think you did the right thing by leaving?”
I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know. Yes and no. But we had an end date stamped on us regardless, so I saved us the trouble.” I don’t mention that I wanted her to come work with my foundation. I don’t mention how smart and savvy I found her. I don’t mention that it wasn’t just those feelings you get when you’re into someone, but that there was a deeper layer that I haven’t experienced with many people in my life.
I keep those pieces of what we shared to myself, just like I keep most everything to myself.
It’s safer this way. The less I let people in, the better the chance I won’t get hurt.
“What are you going to do when you get back home?” he asks.
I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, if I’m being honest. I was dreading the end of my trip. I wanted to find some way to extend it.
And instead, I cut it short early.
At least this way, she can’t hurt me again. It feels like I gained a little bit of my control back by leaving.
So why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel so goddamn wrong?
I’m not sure.
Time will help. Time always helps. I thought it was the end of the world when Tatum and Ford got together, and look at me now, on the other side of that and pining after some new girl.
