God, I really am fucked in the head.
“I guess I’ll get back to workouts,” I finally say. “Get ready to get out on the field. Get my head back in the game. All things I should have been doing the whole time I was sitting out instead of focusing on some dead-end relationship that was never meant to pan out.”
He nods, and a text comes in from his wife, so he excuses himself.
I stare out the window, a little lost in thought. A little lost overall, I suppose. I wonder what she’s doing. I wonder if she realizes I’m already gone.
She doesn’t have any way to get in touch with me since we never actually exchanged phone numbers, and it’s better that way. We’re cut off, and we can move on.
It’s how I’ve handled every hard relationship in my life. It’s why I don’t answer when Ford calls—or anybody else in my family, for that matter. Speaking of which, I have messages from all of them wishing me a happy birthday. There’s a group chat, too, one started by Everleigh, and they all wish me a happy birthday with various GIFs in that chat, too.
I don’t reply to any of them.
I can’t.
I’m not really in the mood to celebrate.
And it’s fine. I’ve gotten by just fine these last twenty-eight years on my own, and I’ll get by fine on my own going forward, too.
What a hell of a way to spend my birthday.
Heading home all alone.
I guess before I met Millie, it’s pretty much what I was expecting out of this day anyway.
CHAPTER 39: Millie Monroe
Checked Out
Do you know how hard it is to take pictures of yourself smiling when it feels like your entire world has crashed down?
After I got that message from the concierge, I ran over to Archer’s tower.
The key didn’t work.
I called the front desk and asked for Clive, and he answered.
“Mr. Bradley checked out. I’m sorry, but I have no further information.”
His words echo around my mind.Checked out. Checked out. Checked out.
So…that’s it?
I spent three weeks getting to know and love this man, and he just walked out because ofone mistakeon my part?
Okay, fine. So it was a pretty big mistake. A fundamental one where he feels betrayed, and I get that.I do. But he didn’t even give me the chance to apologize. He didn’t give me the chance to tell him how horrible I feel about what I did. He didn’t give me the chance to tell him about the offer from Diedrick and how just going live without naming any of them was enough to earn me the paid partnership of my dreams. He didn’t giveusa chance.
It's my own fault. He was right when he said I chose my career over him. I absolutely did after I didn’t see a way forward for us, but that’s no excuse. Instead, it’s the biggest regret of my life.
I can’t take the partnership. Not like this. Not when it’s tainted with my sins.
He saw me in a way nobody else ever has. He saw me without conditions, without a filter. He saw past the fake smile to the inside, and he couldn’t stay away.
We shared something special and deep in the weeks we were here, and it was so much more than just the hot sex. It was letting each other in, and I knew it would be hard to say goodbye at the end. Maybe he did, too, and that’s why he left. He couldn’t bear it, maybe.
If only it wasn’t some lame justification I’m trying to tell myself.
I stare out the window at the ocean view from this last suite I’ll stay in at this resort. I’ve tried several, though the majority of my time was in Archer’s room.
