‘A week,’ says Luis, no hesitation. ‘I think a woman in power is a very sexy thing, no?’
CJ and Ash look at each other and then burst out laughing.
‘Luis, you are so very …Luis,’ CJ says. Luis seems like he’s not sure if that is compliment or criticism, and so CJ qualifies her observation with, ‘Only a good thing, friend. I promise,’ whilst reaching out a hand to his knee.
‘If I may be so bold,’ Ash says. ‘And I appreciate I am not entirely subjective on this matter, on account of having slept with Luis myself but … don’t you think you two should maybestophooking up? CJ, I know you’re not necessarily looking for a happily-ever-after – well, actually, that’s presumptuous, let’s earmark that for further discussion – but certainly Luis, I really do believe you’re ready for a forever kind of love. And I feel uniquely qualified to say, if you want that person to be a one-man kind of a woman, you’re going to have to line up what you say and what you do. I say that from a place of love,’ she adds, hands in a prayer position, a bow of the head likenamaste.
‘Urgh,’ CJ tuts. ‘I hate that you’re not wrong.’
Luis levels his gaze at her, cocks his head to one side. ‘You agree with her?’ he asks.
CJ bounces a shoulder up and down. ‘Reluctantly,’ she tells him. ‘I can see how us continuing to do what we do could get in the way of anything else. I’d just … miss you. I know what we want isn’t aligned, and I’d miss you. Those are mytwo truths. Oh. And my third is that, to be honest, I struggle to see you getting married or whatever, anyway.’
‘Did she tell you I asked her?’ Luis says, to Ash.
‘What?’ Ash looks fifty per cent alarmed and fifty per cent thirsty as fuck for the gossip. ‘No. Really?’ She looks to CJ. ‘He proposed to you?’
‘Kind of,’ CJ says.
‘Not kind of,’ Luis counters. ‘I did. I had a ring, I took her to the best view in the city, just me and her …’
‘But you turned him down?’ This to CJ.
‘I’m not the marrying kind,’ CJ says. ‘I just think … you know. Somebody always ends up getting let down.’
‘That’s your stance?’ Ash asks. ‘Your view? Best not try because of amight not?’
CJ raises an eyebrow. ‘Don’t make it sound pathetic,’ she warns Ash. ‘It’s not pathetic. It’s practical.’
‘Have you ever been in love before?’
‘Yes.’
‘Who with?’
‘When that becomes any of your business, I’ll let you know.’
‘Ouch.’
CJ shrugs. Some subjects are best left unexplored, for everyone involved. She thinks back to the stupid video she saw of her ex. No. Forget, forget, forget.
‘She won’t talk to me about it either,’ Luis tells Ash. ‘There is a … what’s the word? A vault, up here.’ He taps his temple. ‘And nobody has the key.’
CJ drains her first beer, puts the bottle to the floor, and then picks up the one Luis got her and takes a long pull.
‘I motion for a subject change,’ she says, and she’s impressed with herself that she manages to keep her tone even, voice more or less neutral. It’s not often she thinks of everything that happened before she came here, but when she does, fuck. It makes her feel like her skin is on fire, her heart racing like she’s back there, like all that bad stuff is happening here, now, the toxicity of it, the ways she kept herself so small, all those years, until she took the leap and grew her wings.
‘I think Ash is right,’ says Luis, sadly. ‘We should stop …’ He trails off, letting a waggling finger between him and CJ fill in the blank. ‘Because I have to try to find my person. My happy ending.’
Ash sniggers, and Luis looks hurt. ‘Sorry,’ she says, quickly. ‘Happy ending can also mean …’ It’s her turn to trail off.
‘Cumming,’ supplies CJ. ‘Like, at the end of a …’ She makes a wanking motion.
Nobody says anything after that, presumably because they’re all thinking of Luis ejaculating. CJ understands if he needs to take a step back, she does. It’s just, he really is such an exceptional lover. She’ll miss that. She’s sure they could operate as nothing more than the best of friends, and co-workers – but god, what a waste.
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ laughs Ash.
‘Surprise me,’ CJ shoots back.
