“You okay?” Freddie whispers, barely breaking through the roaring in my ears.
“No,” I answer honestly, because what’s the point in lying anymore? “I’m really not.”
Tara crosses her arms, chin lifting.
“For what it’s worth,” Alex says, surprising me by speaking directly to me for the first time since everything fell apart, “she’s not okay either.”
The truth of her words hollows me out, leaving me raw and aching. Because that’s exactly what I was trying to avoid. Tara not being okay because of me. Better to end it cleanly than let her get tangled up in my family’s mess. Better to push her away than watch my world taint hers.
Except—
She’s out there, alone.
For me.
And suddenly, I’m not sure if I’m protecting her.
Or if I’m just protecting myself.
Watching her now, trying to explainourmess to her brother, I wonder if I got it all wrong. If in trying to protect her from pain, I just caused a different kind.
Troy’s face darkens as Tara talks, and my hands clenchunder the table. Every instinct screams at me to go over there, to stand beside her, to face this together. But she asked for space, asked to handle this herself. The least I can do is give her that.
Even if it’s killing me to sit here and do nothing.
Even if I’m finally realizing how much I want her. How much I need her.
Despite my better judgement, I jump up. This was my doing, Tara did this for me and I need to take responsibility.
30
TARA
Ifollow Troy through Moe’s, my sparkly dress suddenly feeling too bright, too obvious. Every step feels like walking toward execution. How do I even begin to explain how I ended up fake dating his best friend?
The cool night air hits as we step outside, and I almost wish more people were around. Witnesses might make this less brutal.
“Troy, wait?—”
“Explain.” He turns to face me, arms crossed. “And don’t give me some bullshit about helping each other out. I want the real story.”
I take a deep breath. “It started with his family. They were trying to set him up with this girl, Marcie, and?—”
“And what? You just volunteered to play pretend? Come on, Tar. I know you better than that.”
Heat creeps up my neck and my head roars.He thinks he knows me, thinks he knows what’s best. “Maybeyoudon’t. Maybe I’m tired of everyone thinking they know what’sbest for me, what I can and can’t handle. You don’t have to like it, Troy. But you do have to accept it. I choose who I love. I choose who I trust. And I won’t letanyone—family or not—make those decisions for me again.”
“This isn’t about that.” Troy runs a hand through his hair - that familiar frustrated gesture. “This is about you and my best friend lying to my face all summer. And you probably getting yourself hurt. Tar, you werebrokenafter Liam. I can’t see you like that again.”
I flinch a little. Troy was there for me when Liam cheated on me. He picked up the pieces of my self-esteem. Dad was away and mom was distracted, but Troy was there for it all.
“We didn’t lie to you, and Alfie isn’t Liam. It wasn’t supposed to get complicated.”
“But it did, didn’t it?” Troy’s voice softens dangerously. “Something happened between you two.”
The door behind us opens, spilling golden light across the parking lot. My heart stops when I see who it is.Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Alfie stands there, tension radiating from every line of his body. His eyes find mine first, always find mine first, before shifting to Troy.
