“I shall not ask you again to touch me,” he said, his voice weary. “But is there aught else you might wish for this night, from me, before we part?”
Ella felt frozen, suddenly, caught in place, held in the strength of his eyes. Was there anything she wished for, from him. Before they parted.
And here, rising with shocking truth, were all the shocking words she somehow wanted to say. I don’t want to part. I don’t want this to be over. Not yet.
Ella’s mouth had opened, about to speak — but then, behind them, there was the sudden, familiar sound of a dog’s bark. Themen. Coming closer.
Ella’s heart was hammering, her eyes again catching, holding, on Natt’s. And somehow there were more words, clamouring to escape her lips, the compulsion so strong she almost felt faint.
I want you to take me, Natt. I want you to be a proper orc predator andkidnapme again, so I don’t have to choose. So I can still be a real lady afterwards.
Ella was truly going to say it, I want you toforceme, Natt — and she clamped both hands against her mouth, squeezed her eyes shut, and wildly shook her head. She couldn’t say such appalling things, to an orc. Shecouldn’t—
“Then I thank you for bringing me here, lass,” came Natt’s voice, smooth, quiet. “I thank you for the joy you have brought me. I hope you shall find the life you wish for, with this man.”
Wait. It sounded like goodbye, it wasn’t goodbye, he couldn’t, not yet — but when Ella’s eyes snapped open, it was to the sight of Natt slowly, carefully leaning toward her, and bending his head to her neck. Inhaling her, slow, deep, as the dogs’ barking rose louder and louder, and Ella’s heart understood, thudded, broke.
He wasleaving. Natt was sayinggoodbye.
“Safe journey home, my fair lass,” he whispered. “Farewell.”
17
In another world, another day, Ella might have turned, and ran.
But instead she only stood there, gaping at Natt, as he turned and limped away from her toward the wall of stone, and those barks grew ever louder. Natt was saying goodbye. And he was — leaving? Already? Here?Now?
“You’re just — leaving?” Ella demanded, her voice shrill. “And leaving me out herealone? In the dark? With these men? Next toOrc Mountain?!”
Natt’s broad shoulders sagged, and he turned to face her again, his eyes blank. “These men are allied to your betrothed,” he said. “And thus, they shall surely not harm you now. They shall grant you safety in their camp this night, and take you back to your lands, and your betrothed, come sunrise. Is this not what you wished and planned for, lass, all this day?”
What she wished for, all this day. And there was the sudden, lowering realization that Ella hadn’t properly considered this atall. Not the fact that she would be stranded outside Orc Mountain in the dark, or that Alfred’s awful men would be waiting. Waiting for Natt… or forher?
Ella’s entire body flinched, her arms coming to cross over her chest, her head frantically shaking back and forth. “I shall neverspeakto those horrid men again,” she snapped. “Let alone camp with them, or travelanywherewith them! I shall —“
But there was nothing, only the tense waiting watching in Natt’s eyes, the barks coming ever closer. And then more comprehension, even more sickening than before, that Natt fully expected her to go, because — that’s what Ella had told him she was doing. I have obligations, she’d said, more than once. We really ought to get going. I need to make sure I’m back in time. I am to be a lady.
“You shall what,” came Natt’s voice, steady, maddening enough to make Ella flinch again, her eyes darting up to the huge, smoking mountain behind him. Orc Mountain. His home. I want you to take me. I want you to kidnap me…
She choked the appalling words back, and desperately searched for other words, other truths. “Well, I’m just — quite tired,” she heard herself say. “I’m not — accustomed to this kind of sustained activity, any longer. And it’s increasingly dark. And I shallnottravelanywherewith those men.”
Natt’s eyes were still watching her, flat, unreadable. “If you wish,” he said, “I shall go and bring you more food, and mayhap a lamp. Or a warm fur, if you wish to climb a tree, and sleep until sunrise.”
And here, vivid and almost entirely forgotten, were Ella’s memories of doing that, with him. Sneaking out of her bedroom, under cover of darkness, and flitting through the trees with Natt in the moonlight. And then the joy of finding a good tree to climb, the struggle of finding a comfortable spot, while Natt would watch, amused, from the branches above. And then the peace of falling asleep, easy and pure and safe, hung between the moon and the earth.
The sheer, sweeping longing was so strong Ella had to close her eyes, tighten her arms over her shivery body. And she had to speak, she had to answer this, but how, how to say it…
“I don’t want to,” she blurted out, to her feet. “Go back. Not yet.”
The world had gone very still all around, but for the barking dogs, and now the sound of distant crashing in the trees. But Natt’s eyes didn’t spare it a glance, and instead held dark and demanding to her face. “Then for what, woman,” he said, quiet, deadly, “do you wish.”
Ella couldn’tthinkthrough her hammering heartbeat, and she gave a rough shake of her head, blinking downwards. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t say it — until there was the feel of a single claw, nudging up under her chin. Making her look at him, trapping her eyes on Natt’s hard unblinking ones — and here were words, finally, impossible words, spilling from her lips. Notthosewords, thank the gods, but still shameful, stillwrong.
“I should have a few more days,” her voice said, too quickly. “Before I really need to go back. And we’ve come all this way, and I’m here now, and I’d really rather make sure you’re fully healed before I return. And I’m tired, and cold, and I don’twantto sleep in a tree, without you.”
There was a bitter twist on Natt’s mouth, and those glinting eyes stared, demanded, spoke. “Truth, lass,” he hissed. “You shall speak truth, to me.”
Ella was gulping, nodding, fighting for breath, trapped. “I want to stay,” she heard her appalling voice whisper. “And — and visit. For a while. With you.”
