Wait, what? Rosa’s mouth dropped open, while her traitorous brain frantically dredged up appalling, absurdly compelling images of that — along with the compulsive, overpowering urge to ask what had happened to Salvi’s mate. But instead, she clamped her mouth safely shut, and sucked back a series of deep, bracing breaths. No. John was trying to shock her. To distract her. To make his own horrible actions seem entirely forgettable.
“Well, what you did,” Rosa countered, “hadnothingto do with joy. Andeverythingto do with you using me to make a point to Mr. Efterar! To continue whatever ongoing disagreement you two have going on between you. About — his Ash-Kai magic not being enough for Ka-esh like you.”
The brief, betraying flare of surprise across John’s face was surely unfeigned, so Rosa sat up a little straighter, and followed that where it led. “And you didn’t like Mr. Efterar questioning you about me,” she said. “So youusedme, to show yourself justified. To make a point. To make it seem likethis” — she gave a jerky wave between them — “is all due to me being stupid and foolish and useless, and nothingwhatsoeverto do with you!”
John’s eyes had shuttered again, but he didn’t speak, so Rosa drew in air, kept going. “When in truth,you’rejust as responsible for all this as I am, if not more.Youmade me that damned bargain, when you knew how dangerous it was.Youoffered to bring me here.Youwanted me to suck you off in the woods.Youfilled me with your seed, and scratched me with your claws, and mocked me and exposed me to your friends, or yourlovers, or whatever the hell they are. All because it pleasedyouto do so!”
There was nothing in John’s eyes now, just a blank cold emptiness, and his mouth barked a brittle sound that might have been a laugh. “And Itoldyou, woman,” he said, his voice rising, “I am an orc. And this is what orcs do to silly little women like you. We mark you. We bare you for all to see. We make youours. We do whatever we wish with you!”
The last came out as a growl, a condemnation, a threat. Leaving Rosa breathing hard, backed against the stone wall, and urgently, unaccountably, wanting to argue that. To say, no, that isn’t truly who you are, Iknow, Isawyou, no falsehoods…
But no.No. This awful orc kept telling her who he was, and why in all the gods’ holy names should she not just believe him? Why should she justify his actions for him, make excuses for him, when he had repeatedly proven himself uncaring, distant, and cruel? Whatever had possessed her to trust amonster?
But suddenly, staring at this orc’s empty, chilly black eyes, there was the inexplicable, incongruous vision of Lord Kaspar, and lurking behind him, the odious Mr. Sullivan. We do whatever we wish with you. Youwilldo this for me. You will learn to obey your betters. Do not disappoint me…
The tightness was closing Rosa’s throat, weighing against her shoulders, and she couldn’t seem to help a brief, longing glance toward that neat little pile of books, sitting so innocuously on the shelf. Perhaps she could reach for one, lose herself in it for just a few moments. Escape long enough to forget, to pretend, to be wanted, to beworthy…
But they were the orc’s books. She was in the orc’s bed. The orc who cared nothing for her, not beyond whatever it was he wanted to take from her.
So Rosa numbly slid her aching body off the bed, wincing at the new flares of pain in her sides, and then stood to her shaky feet.
She would go.
15
This time, there was no frenzy, no running, no panic. Only a silent, blank certainty, filling the space behind Rosa’s eyes, and swelling tight against her throat.
Her blinking eyes had already found the room’s exit, a square of blackness in the wall to the left, and her feet seemed to turn toward it on their own. She would go. She would seek help however she could. Perhaps Mr. Efterar would be willing, perhaps she could offer certain favours as payment, perhaps he wouldn’t care so much that she was too small, or too foolish or useless, so long as her mouth could do the job…
But when Rosa’s silently padding feet stepped outside the door, she was abruptly faced with the sight of — John’s friends. Hislovers. Tristan and Salvi, one standing on each side of the corridor, entirely blocking her path.
They both looked huge and dangerous in the dim light, even Tristan, who — Rosa took an unwilling step backward — was actuallygrowlingat her, the noise low and threatening from his throat. And across from him, Salvi wasn’t growling, but his black eyes were snapping with anger, his tall body looming taut and powerful over her.
Rosa stared blankly between them, while the distant, blunted fear marched closer and closer, and she gulped for breath, for courage. “Could you please,” she choked out, “excuse me? Sirs?”
There was a swift, exchanged glance between the two of them that Rosa couldn’t follow — but then, another glance behind her that was all too clear. And when her stiff body slowly turned to look, of course, there he was. John. Standing directly behind her in the open doorway, his huge, menacing form silhouetted by the faint candlelight, his hands hanging sharp and lethal by his sides.
“Where,” he hissed, soft and deadly, “do you think to go, woman.”
Rosa wanted to shrink backwards, but there was nowhere to hide, so she wrapped her arms around herself, gripping tight, holding herself still. “I want to leave,” she whispered. “Please. I won’t bother you any longer, I’ll find my own means of travelling back home and dealing with my” — she had to fight for air — “mypredicament, and you’ll never need to spare a thought for me again.Please, my lord.”
The last escaped before she could stop it, and she bit her lip, and blinked at the stone floor beneath her feet. Waiting for them to move, to let her go, please,please— but John’s huge form only stepped closer, the distinct sweet smell of him swirling through the air. “No,” he said, the word hard, flat, angry. “You agreed to come here, silly woman. You wished to please me.”
Rosa’s breath was coming in odd, hiccoughing gulps, and she forced her blinking eyes up, to his shadowed, unreadable face. “Yes,” she said, her voice wavering. “I did. But you’ve just spoken the truth about yourself, and about me, as well. Ihavebeen silly, and foolish, and easily led. I should never have” — she gasped for breath, dragged it into her lungs — “sought to please you, or trust you, or follow you, as I did. I should have been wiser and cleverer. I should know, by now, that powerful men like you don’t actuallyhelpwomen like me. You don’tcare. You onlyuseus as you wish, for your own benefit, and throw us away when you’re done.”
Beside her, Tristan’s growling had stopped, in place of a stilted, hanging silence, and that almost made it worse somehow, the fear and the truth and the darkness pressing in on all sides. And John had come even closer, the warmth of him almost tangible against her, and there was a harsh, twitchy shake of his head. “I amnot,” he said, cold, brittle, “aman.”
But he was dismissing her again, throwing away the bulk of her argument without evenconsideringit, and Rosa desperately fought to swallow back the rising, lurking sobs in her throat. “Yes, I’m aware, thank you,” she managed. “But in your actions, orc, you have been just the same. You give me food and clothes and shelter, but in exchange, you use me, you manipulate me, you take your pleasure from me as you please. And notoncedo you deign to speak a single word of kindness to me afterwards, and instead you mock me, and scorn me, and call me skinny and foolish and stupid anduseless, and I —”
Gods, she couldn’t finish, not through the surge of gasping, shuddering breaths choking out her throat, and she had to press her hands to her face, spit the words against them. “I believe you, orc,” she sobbed. “Ibelieveyou. You don’t want me. You don’t like me. So will you please,pleasejust let me go!”
There was still only silence all around, no words, no movement. Only three huge orcs, trapping her there in a corridor, watching her weep, no doubt waiting to unleash even more mockery and derision upon her. And what would they do next, what wouldhedo, surely it could only get worse from here —
“What in the hell,” cut in a voice, a new voice, “is goingondown here?!”
There was movement around Rosa again, the distinct feel of shifting bodies, and rising disapproving murmurs. And when Rosa blinked up to look, there was indeed someone new in the corridor. A —woman?!
But yes, yes, it was a real-life, flesh-and-blood, honest-to-godswoman, sporting close-fitting trousers, a head of long dark hair, a distinctively rounded belly, and a lantern. And she was striding toward them with unmistakable purpose, and also — Rosa blinked again — with genuine rage flashing in her dark eyes.
