“No! It’s a double celebration,” I promise.
“He’s right. You aren’t stealing anything. I’m so happy for you two. Dibs on flower girl!” Skylar calls happily.
Rolling my eyes, I pour another drink. “I don’t look good in a suit,” I admit, shooting Noah a side-eyed look. He frowns as Conan smirks at me, knowing I’m up to no good. “Fuck me if I’m wrong.”
“You’re wrong.” Noah frowns. “You look incredible in suits.”
“I know, so you better fuck me.” I grin as I take a drink as he chokes on his own.
“Oh, my boy is growing up!” Sky leans over and high-fives me. “I’ve taught you well.”
“Alright, alright, enough.” Alek lifts his glass. “A toast to ourfamily for the amazing things we are doing and will do. To Starfire. To us.”
“To us!” we repeat as we clink our glasses together.
“And to the best dick of my life!” Skylar yells until Bones tackles him, covering his mouth, making us all laugh.
“And vagina!” Lally adds as Alice swats her.
I can’t help but laugh, and I look around as everyone drinks and talks, realizing how full my life truly is. Alek called us family, and he isn’t wrong. I lost one but I found another, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. My eyes find Conan’s, and Noah’s hand lands on my thigh under the table. I’ll never be lonely or sad again.
They will love me for the rest of our lives, and nights like this won’t be just a fever dream, but a promise, and I can’t wait.
SIXTY-FOUR
It’s not hard to find downtime with my boyfriend. We don’t have a schedule like I once joked, but we do sometimes ask the other for alone time. Surprisingly, Conan is a good friend and an even better roommate, since he likes to cook.
Tonight, he’s on a late shoot, so I can spend my last night before surgery with Mackie. He didn’t even ask. He must have just sensed it, and I can’t thank him enough as I hold Mackie in my arms, in my bed, where he should always be. We had a small meal together, but I think we were both too nervous to eat. Tomorrow is the day I have been dreading. He’s stayed upbeat about it, being my strength and pillar, but when Mackie lifts his head from my chest, I see the worry in his eyes as they cloud with tears.
My own fear returns. I can’t be strong for me, but I can be strong for him. I promised I would never hurt him again, and I don’t break promises.
“Noah, I’m scared,” he whispers, his lip quivering.
Pressing my finger to his lips, I silence his words. “We only think of tonight, not tomorrow or beyond, okay?”
“Okay,” he whispers as I pull my finger away. “Then let’s make thenight last forever.” His lips press against mine in a hungry, devouring kiss, just like the first one he ever gave me.
I drown in him, letting him take over until there is nothing else to think of but him. I let him kiss and touch me, even as tears wet my lashes at how gentle he is being. When he straddles me and takes my length, I’m gone.
My hands slide up his chest as I stare at him lovingly. He winds his hips, leaning down to press his lips to mine. We are simply two people who know each other’s hearts and bodies better than anyone else.
We make love like we can make it last forever if we try.
Hours pass with us joined, neither of us wanting to reach the finish line, but everything ends, even the best things. “I’m with you,” I whisper as my release fills me and then him.
“Forever.” His lips meet mine as he finds his own release.
It wasn’t depraved, dark, filthy, or rushed. It was love, pure and simple, and it’s what we both needed, a reminder of our mortality and truth.
Keeping him in my arms, I kiss his face and breathe in his scent just in case. I want to remember his smile, his laugh, and the way he looks at me. All the years working side by side, no matter what happens tomorrow, that is what I will think of, and if my time is up, I’ll have lived a thousand lifetimes with him.
“I love you, Noah. I’ve loved you since before I realized what that meant, and nothing will ever change that. Where you go, I go. We’ll deal with everything else together. If you can’t trust anything else, then trust me. I’m not done with you yet.”
I can’t help but smile as I tug him into my arms so he can never be free. It’s only then that I feel whole and strong enough to face what may come. “I love you too, with everything in me. If these last few months is all we have, then it’s been better than any lifetime, but I’m coming back to you, baby. I promise.”
I’ll fight tooth and nail to come out of this and home to him, where I belong.
Sometime later, I wake to a hand slipping into my free one, and I glance over at Conan as he smiles, nothing but friendship on his face.
