“We are with you,” he whispers as he glances at Mackie, who’s sprawled across me, sleeping. “Tomorrow is just another race for you to win, and when you’re done, he’s your prize.”
“Thank you,” I whisper as I settle down and sleep, held by both of them so fear can’t get me.
Today is the day. Everyone has kept me busy so I didn’t have time to think about it or back out. I’m never alone, to my annoyance. If it isn’t Mackie or Conan with me at all times, it’s Alek or Sky annoying me. I know why they are doing it, and I’m grateful, but after my pre-op checks, I look at them with fear in my heart.
“Give me a second,” Mackie whispers, and everyone else steps back as he takes my hand. I’m in a wheelchair, already in the gown. Kneeling beside me, Mackie presses my hand to his cheek and smiles.
For weeks, we’ve gone over the risks, what will happen during the operation, and the aftercare. I have more information and leaflets than I know what to do with, but Mackie has taken it all in stride. My house is filled with food and smoothies, which will aid in healing, and even herbal tea his grandma got me. He’s planning for after, but I can’t, too worried there won’t be one.
Mackie and my father have taken over all my business dealings for now, and all they want me to do is focus on getting better. I dare not tell them how scared I am that there might not be a later. I know they need hope, so I let them, but faced with the reality now, I can admit I’m scared.
“Look at me. It’s going to be okay. You’ll be fine, and then you’ll wake up and be better. I’ll be right here,” he promises.
“Promise me you’ll be the first thing I see,” I beg.
“Of course,” he murmurs as he kisses my hands. “Don’t worry about anything else, just come back to me.”
I know he’s scared, even if he won’t say it, so I kiss him, our lips lingering like it’s our last. “I won’t say it,” he croaks. “I won’t saygoodbye because you’re coming back to me. You’ve been my entire life, Noah, and I plan to be the rest of yours, so you better fight.”
“For you? Always,” I murmur as I lean back, trying to be strong for him and everyone watching us.
They surround us then, wishing me well. Mackie’s grandma kisses me, making my eyes widen. “For strength. See you after, my boy.”
Nodding, I look at my friends and take a deep breath. “I’ll be right back, I guess.”
I leave Mackie with Conan and the others as they take me back, and the nerves finally kick in.
“If I don’t wake up,” I whisper to my dad as we linger at the door, “take care of Mackie for me.”
“I will, but you’re going to wake up, and we will be here,” he promises as he kisses my head. “I’m so proud of you, son. I always have been. Go beat this like you do everything else and come home to your family.”
“Sir, you can’t go past here,” the nurse cautions, and he nods, his hand lingering in mine before I’m wheeled through. The last sight I have is Mackie behind my father, his eyes round and scared, but he smiles at me, and it’s that smile I remember as I’m put under.
He’s the very last thing I ever want to see. If this is it for me, then at least I get to choose, and I choose Mackie so I can hold onto it and him.
It feels like only seconds ago I was being wheeled away, but as my eyes open slowly, awareness coming back, I know time has passed.
My eyes are opening.
Does that mean I survived?
“Is this heaven?” I whisper as I look at Mackie’s worried face.
He would be my heaven.
His face scrunches up, and tears flow from his eyes as he kisses me. I blink, still feeling a little hazy. “Not heaven, dummy,” he replies. “The surgery is over. You’re okay.”
“I am?” My mouth feels weird, but I also feel loopy.
Henry appears, checking my monitors as he grabs my chart. “Your surgery was a great success. There were a few complications, but you will be completely fine now. The next few days will be hard, and we’ll need to run some tests on speech and mobility, but we have high hopes since you’re already talking and trying to move,” he reports clinically as I look around the room, finding it full of my friends. My dad is next to Mackie, and he smiles when I catch his eyes before he turns away, his face screwing up as he hides his tears.
“I’m okay?” I whisper, barely able to believe it. For the last few years, I thought I had a death sentence, just waiting for the day it would kill me. I lived in fear, and now it’s just . . . gone?
“All you need to do now is rest,” Henry orders as he scribbles on my chart. “It shouldn’t be a problem with all these people here looking after you.” He smiles at me as he presses his hand to my shoulder. “I’m glad you made the right choice, Noah. Welcome back to the land of the living. Now go and live your life.”
I watch him leave before I turn to see Mackie with tears streaming down his face. “I told you that you’re fine. We’re fine.”
Nodding, I feel tears well in my eyes, and I close them for a moment, thanking anyone who is listening that they gave me another chance. I’ll never waste another second or take anything for granted. I’ll live every second to its fullest.
