Tilting her chin up, she pushes off of my wall and flips her hair over her shoulder. “This isn’t over.”
“It never even began in the first place,” I scoff. “Leave, now.”
With one last glare at me, she huffs and flounces from my office. Pain blooms in my head, and I step around my desk and slump into my chair, pinching my nose to stave off the impending headache, but it’s no use. Opening the top drawer before the pain takes over, I pop the top on the familiar bottle, down two pills, and lean back. I close my eyes, hoping like hell it goes away soon. I can’t afford to have anyone notice.
I end up working late to make up for the two hours I lost midday due to the blaring migraine, so when I turn off the lights in my office and step out, I’m surprised to see the simulator still running. Frowning, I head over but stop when I realize it’s Mackie.
He hasn’t noticed me yet, so I just watch him.
His face is locked in concentration. The road always gets his entire focus. He’s been like that since the first day he showed up here as a new racer seeking glory. I thought he wouldn’t last a week. I was wrong about him. He has more determination in his pinky than most people have in their entire body, not to mention his kindness and passion for racing. It rivals mine. Hell, he reminds me of myself when I was his age. It’s what used to annoy me about him before I realized he just wants to be the best he can be for me and our team.
I don’t know when the line between boss and racer got blurred, but it did. After late nights helping him practice, private lessons, and teaching him all my hard-earned skills and knowledge, we became close. Neither of us knew what this was. I don’t blame him for being confused and thinking he cares for me. I even enjoyed it, allowing myself a few stolen months thinking we could cross that line and I could take what I wanted before reality came crashing down.
He’ll hate me for what I’ve done, but it’s for the best.
He has all the time in the world, and I don’t, but it’s harder than Ithought it would be to let him go and see him moving on with someone else.
Sighing happily, he leans back when he wins the race and slides from the simulator, groaning as he stretches. His shirt rises to show off his toned abs, and I remember how they felt in my hands when I dragged him closer.
Turning, he sees me and freezes. “Noah?”
Clearing my throat, I nod and grab a chair, sitting on it backwards. “I was working late. You are still cutting that last corner short,” I comment, my voice rough as I try to ignore the desire between us.
He nods and sits in the chair opposite me, sweeping his eyes over me, and I wonder what he sees. Does he still want me like he did before, or does he have feelings for Conan now?
Does Conan know what he tastes like?
I hate the thought, so I shake my head. “What did I tell you?”
“Take the corner late and speed up,” he replies, looking unsure as he plays with the edge of the table. It was never like this before. He used to get nervous, but it was shyness and I enjoyed teasing him. He always watched me with hero worship, it made me feel invincible, but all I feel now is very human, flawed, and tired.
“Good, remember it next time. You can head home now. Don’t overdo it. You need an equal balance of rest and a healthy diet,” I remind him. It’s something I’ve said a million times, and it comes from a place of love and concern, but he just nods, not fighting me like he used to, and I hate it.
I hate the silence between us and how awkward it feels, like we are strangers.
“Mackie, look at me,” I order, and his eyes finally meet mine and I can breathe again. I scoot my chair closer despite my convictions. “You can talk to me if something is bothering you, you know that.”
“I know,” he responds slowly. “I’m fine.”
Are we? I want to tell him we haven’t been the same since the restaurant and I don’t know how to fix it. It’s driving me crazy.
“You look tired,” he murmurs, lifting his hand to reach for my face before he drops it. I want to grab it and press it against my skin, butthere’s distance between us I dare not breach. He’s building walls, and I fucking hate it so much. I know it’s my doing and it’s what I wanted, but it hurts so badly.
“I haven’t been sleeping,” I admit, and he blinks at me. “Too much on my mind.”
He nods, drumming his fingers on the table. “I should get going.” Standing, he grabs his bag and slips past me. My hand darts out before I realize what I’m doing, and I stop him in his tracks. He looks down at the connection and then meets my gaze. “Are we okay?”
“Of course, boss,” he says, and I flinch. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He tugs his hand from mine, taking his warmth with him. I stare after him, wondering how everything got so messy.
“You’ve missed your last three checkups, Noah,” Henry admonishes as he sits heavily in the chair behind his desk.
“Yeah, well, work has been busy, and I didn’t want to hear the same shit over and over again,” I grumble as I relax in the chair opposite as he logs into his computer and pulls up my file. I’ll be late to work, but he’s right. This is important.
“How’s your prep going for the championship?” he asks as he types.
“Same old shit. We’ll get there though,” I answer. “Our racers are the best.”
