Ideliberate sending the text. If I do, am I crossing a line? I’ve crossed so many with Mackie, ones I never should have, but I can’t seem to stop myself now, so I hit send on the message I wrote hours ago.
Conan: My office address . . .
He asked for it, and I know what it means. He’ll come here, or so I hope. He’ll invade this part of my life like he has every other aspect so far, and when he’s gone, I won’t be able to forget him being here. He’ll haunt this space, just like . . . well, I suppose I’m used to that. It’s just another part of my life that will be empty and cold after this is all through, but it doesn’t stop me from anxiously looking at the camera on my phone for the front door, hoping he appears.
My computer screen darkens to its screensaver as I sit back, waiting anxiously. I can’t work until I know.
The minutes tick by, and disappointment clouds me. I should work, not stare like an idiot. Dropping my phone, I wiggle my mouse and focus on the images, but I keep checking my phone from the corner of my eye.
Minutes tick by before my phone starts buzzing at 7:45. I scramble to pick it up, seeing the doorbell app. I open it with shaking fingers and my heart explodes. A smile I can’t control tilts my lips as I find Mackie standing there, his head tilted as he smiles.
“Coming,” I shout before I push my chair back, hurrying from my workspace and down the two steps to the main office. I rush past the desks and open the door to the stairs, then I stomp down them to the front door. I hit the switch and swing it open. Seeing Mackie in the flesh makes my breath still.
I forget how beautiful Mackie is until he’s in front of me, mussed hair and all. He’s never perfectly put together like most people in my life, yet I crave that little bit of disorder from him.
He has a bag in his hand, and his eyebrow rises. “Can I come in?”
“Oh, sure.” I step back, and he brushes his body across mine to get inside since it’s a tight hallway. My eyes widen, and my breathing stops. He freezes, swinging his gaze to mine. For a moment, we just stare at each other before I clear my throat. “This way.”
I hurry up the stairs, my heart pounding so fast I’m surprised he can’t hear it. I order it to calm down, but it doesn’t listen.
I hear his footsteps behind me, and once we are in the dark office space, I glance back to see him looking around. “Everyone went home hours ago,” I explain as I head up to my office and hold the door for him. He meanders past me, and I let the door shut but stay near it as he slowly wanders around, stopping near my desk.
“Is this where you call me from?” he asks.
“Yes,” I answer, feeling unsure. It’s different having him here. It means something. “What’s in the bag?”
“Oh.” He turns and puts it on my desk. Despite me hating any mess or disorganization on it, I’m happy to see his things there. He carefully pulls out a stack of containers and places them on the surface. “For you.”
Eyeing him, I open the top one to see a pile of huge cookies. “You saved me some?”
“I made them for you.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. Gripping the container, I have the insane urge to kiss the shit out of this boy, but Ihold back. Instead, I shove a cookie in my mouth to stop myself, and he waits as I chew. “Well?” he asks when I swallow.
“Incredible.” They melt in my mouth. “Probably the best I’ve ever had. You’re extremely talented, baby boy.” It slips out, but he says nothing, just ducks his head and pulls a box out of his bag then hands it to me. Wiping the crumbs from my hands, I take the gift and open it, smiling at the contents.
“I tried to find the best one, I don’t know if it will help, but you said your neck and shoulders hurt, and with your hours, I figured you could use one,” he blurts out, fidgeting with the tote bag as he glances from it to me. “You don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want it,” I whisper as I open it and look at him. It’s so fucking thoughtful. He bought me a massager. I made one idle comment and he thought of a way to help me. I’m starting to understand that’s just who Mackie is. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He picks up his bag and wanders away, looking over my shelves as I sink into my chair and play with the massager, eyeing him the entire time. He’s quiet, and I have no idea what to say, but simply having him in my space is relaxing the tension in my shoulders. His scent fills the air, and the loneliness that always surrounds me lessens.
“Your office is cozy. No wonder you sleep here often.” He glances at me and smiles, and I nod as he goes back to looking. My computer dings with an email, and despite the fact that I don’t want to look, I have to since it’s probably the client approval I’ve been waiting all day for. Carefully boxing the gift, I shove another cookie in my mouth as I open it and scan the response before loading up the images to implement the changes since they have a deadline of midnight.
There’s a noise that makes my head jerk up, and I swallow the last of the cookie as Mackie looks at me and then my computer.
“Well, you’re busy. I should go.” He hesitates, but when I nod, he smiles and heads to the door. The idea of him walking out right now sends a spike of fear through me.
“Have you eaten?” I blurt, stopping him at the door.
“No?” he responds as he turns.
“Me either. Want to stay while I work? I can order food.” I trail off. “Sorry. I thought you could stay with me while I worked. You don’t have to?—”
“I’d love to. I don’t really want to be alone right now anyway,” he admits as he takes his jacket off. For a moment, I’m distracted by the play of his muscles in his tank before his words sink in.
“Did something happen?” I ask softly.
I can see him struggling with what to say when he walks over and perches on my desk next to me. “Just a hard day. It’s better now.” His eyes glisten, and I swear a blush stains my cheeks as I grab my phone as a distraction. His soft chuckle makes my cheeks heat more as I load the app and shove it at him.
