Those words, they pierce my soul, but I need him to know that I will not accept untruths. ‘Never again,’ I sign quickly.
“No,” he says in a rush. “No. Never again. I promise.” He looks shattered. “Cielo, please understand, I needed you to heal, and it was the only way you would accept any of it. But I understand why you’re angry at me.”
I stare at him, my tail tightening almost painfully around my waist. I do not want to be angry with him. But I need him to know I am serious.
‘Never again,’ I sign once more.
He looks hesitant. “Never give you my cum again?”
“Neverrrr lie,” I say aloud very carefully. “Lying heerrrtsss.” I spread my palm over my chest, over my hearts.
“Oh, Cielo,” he whispers. “Shit. I really am so sorry. I promise I will never lie again, okay?”
“Okay,” I say, and he sniffles. I have saddened him. My heart aches in the worst way. I can almost feel his guilt, taste it.
After a moment, Dante clears his throat and rolls his shoulders back. “I’m gonna…I just…I don’t want to cry here, you know? Would you like…would you still like to come home with me? You don’t have to speak to me, if you don’t want to.”
I do want to speak to him. I want to share my day with him. But I can only nod despite wanting to soothe him. My mind answers for me when my tongue cannot.
“I want to be with you.”
He nods, and I feel a punch of relief coming from him as he walks around the counter to once again check the lock on the door. He must have forgotten that he already turned it. But I say nothing, watching him move.
When he’s done, he holds out his hand toward me. I accept it, curling my fingers around his, and he tugs me down the short hallway to the back door, where he can set the alarm, and then guides us across the street for home.
The sun is going down, and it is colder now. I can see the shiver in his skin as he walks faster. It is easy for me to keep up, his legs much shorter than mine.
When we enter his place, he flips on the lights, and I blink in the brightness. We are far quieter than we usually are.
I can feel his despair, and it makes my chest ache. I do not want him to be sad.
“I think we need to talk. Not just about the cum, but about last night. And what all of this means.”
I nod, and he leads me over to the couch.
His hand rests on my thigh, and he squeezes it gently. And then he begins to speak.
nineteen
DANTE
As Cielo sits down on the couch, my mind is reeling. Half of it is being bombarded by feelings from him over the betrayal of my lies. The other half is still reeling from what happened last night.
It’s a miracle I was in any way functional this morning, and I felt like an ass for just going off to work after what we did, like nothing happened. But I was still coping.
Processing.
Trying to figure out what the hell happened and why. And how. The idea that it was a reaction to the zitha was terrifying because so far it is the only thing that has been able to stop the pain in its tracks. But after Cielo told me that it was something else—that I’d ingested the wrong thing—I felt better.
Then I panicked.
Luckily, Everest was available and immediately rushed over to the shop after he heard the tremble in my voice. He found me in my office just before we opened and immediately dropped into the chair beside my desk.
“I took those herbs last night and?—”
“I fucked up,” he interrupted breathlessly.
I stared at him.
