Sarang couldn’t tell how Shiloh felt about that possibility. Was he angry? Hurt? Disappointed? The truth of the matter was, he didn’t know enough about the bond between a Gray and a Syn to properly answer questions he’d carried himself, let alone ones the omega might come up with.
So he said what was arguably the worst possible response he could have given in the history of ever.
“It was a mistake.” Sarang shook his head. “I didn’t mean to do it.”
He’d been wrong that night, when he’d thought he had it all under control. When he’d assumed connecting with theomega’s qi was easy. Yes, it’d come naturally, but he’d had no idea the act he’d been performing hadn’t been a simple healing, but a forming of a life long bond.
“Ah.” Shiloh leaned back. “So it’s guilt.”
“What?”
“The reason you’ve stuck around. The reason you treat me so kindly. It all stems from guilt. You feel bad that you bonded with me without my consent, and hate that you gave into temptation afterward and fucked me.”
He flinched and Shiloh grunted.
“We never talk about it, but we both know what went down that weekend. All this time, I assumed your doctor friend healed me, and then you helped me through my heat. Sure, I could never remember any of the details, but my ass hurt for days. Didn’t take a genius to guess why.”
Sarang frowned. “You don’t understand.”
“Explain it to me then. Now is your chance.”
“There aren’t any past examples to reference,” Sarang began. “You aren’t Gray, so the life-bond can’t be shared the way it was meant. You can’t see or feel qi.”
“As in, I’m lacking and you regret it.”
“No!” Shit. “I’m saying in order to protect you, I have to be physically present to see and heal any damage. I can sense you from miles away, but I can’t tell if you’re in danger or injured like I would be able to with another Gray.”
“That makes it sound like you’re concerned for me, but if I die, you’d lose your greatest source of qi.”
“No. I mean, well, yes, but that’s—”
“I understand, alpha.”
“You do not,” he insisted. “I can stabilize from you from a distance. I didn’t need to go with you and join the mafia. I chose to because—”
“I had everything to offer. Everything you needed. Money, status, and a well of life force you could tap into without me ever realizing. You just wanted to live, isn’t that it? Isn’t that the real truth you’ve been so afraid I would uncover?”
“No.” He shook his head, vehemently denying it. “I’d give my life for you. Youknowthat.”
If he’d come clean on his own, this never would have happened.
But he’d been afraid. A coward.
Like his father.
He’d sworn to never be like him, and yet Sarang had been the spitting image in the end. The same way his father had been too much of a coward to come home and break up with his mother face to face, Sarang had been too scared to risk losing Shiloh to the truth.
“Let’s put that to the test, shall we then, alpha?” Shiloh rose to his feet. “Let’s see how long you’ll last before you’re willing to give me what I really want.”
“If it’s revenge, take it. I won’t fight you.”
He scoffed. “Revenge? Interesting that that’s where your mind went instead of considering this a debt that needs to be paid. You put a bond on me I didn’t ask for, don’t you think it’s only fair that you give me one that I did? Settle the score, so to speak.”
Sarang wasn’t following. “You can’t seriously still want the bite after learning all of this?”
“Why not?” Before Sarang could feel an inkling of hope, Shiloh continued. “What betterrevengethan trapping the alpha who used me? You could choose to drain me dry right now, true. Siphon all of my qi and kill me. I couldn’t prevent you from doing so even if I wanted to. That feels unfair, doesn’t it? But a claiming bond?”
This new version of the omega he’d thought he’d known was hard to adjust to. Though Shiloh’s personality wasn’t necessarily a complete one-eighty, he was still a far cry from the man Sarang had come to care for. His time in the mafia had helped him better understand the twisted machinations of powerful people, however, and right now, the Prince of the Eumia was exuding that power flawlessly.
