All of it.
The alpha only had to acquiescence. Hand power over to Shiloh through the bite. Make them the equals he claimed he wanted them to be.
There was nothing on how the life-bond might affect Sarang’s alpha nature. Nothing to prove or disprove that it’s what was causing him to crave Shiloh during his ruts.
The attraction between them seemed to be real, only, some of that attraction had diminished the second he’d realized Shiloh was abrasive, crass, and cruel. The second he’d shed the illusion of a damsel in distress, the alpha had begun questioning his affections toward Shiloh.
Bishop and Dio’s comments haunted him in ways he’d never imagined. At the time they’d been spoken, he’d been so certain in himself, but now…
What if he truly never got the alpha back?
What if this was it for them? A relationship built on lies, and guilt, and shame?
Sarang’s need to cling to the moral high ground prevented him from seeing how desperate Shiloh was for him. How much he didn’t care whether or not some secret part of the life-bond had instilled these longings within him.
Hadthe bond changed him?
Perhaps.
He had to admit, Sarang had made a fair point. Shiloh had gone into that basement caring for nothing, and had left it with a deep-rooted obsession for the older male. As a member of the Eumia, it’d hardly been his first brush with death, even at the young age of eighteen, and Sarang wasn’t the only person to have saved his life.
Shiloh had never developed possessive feelings toward any of them, which meant he’d be a fool not to acknowledge the one major difference. Sarang’s qi inside of his body might have trigged something,alteredsomething…Emotions maybe. Things he hadn’t been capable of feeling before, but suddenly could.
He danced his fingers on the surface of the desk as he pondered Sarang’s accusation about how he’d played the part of reason for Kian these past few years. His performance had been good, obviously, but he hadn’t really bothered to stop and consider why that might be.
Why he could suddenly understand abstract concepts like right and wrong well enough to articulate them without getting flustered.
Some of that came down to logic, of course. Logically, he could comprehend Sky had been angry at Kian for taking away his freedoms. But just because he understood, didn’t mean he agreed.
Since the dawn of time, the strong had overpowered the weak. That was simply the way of things. Why should Kian feel bad for being stronger than his chosen mate?
All of that made sense. When you could fully grasp a concept, you could execute it, even if you didn’t believe in it yourself.
But what of his feelings toward the situation? How he’d felt the need to help push Sky in Kian’s direction?
That…was abnormal for him.
This whole time, he’d been livid over the normalcy he’d believed was being thrust upon him due to his crush, and this new revelation didn’t help ease that sting. Shiloh had been content in who he was prior to meeting Sarang in that damn field. Had been satisfied with his lifestyle, and his path.
Now he couldn’t eat, sleep, or breathe without thinking about the frustrating alpha.
Without yearning for him.
And not just his cock or his knot.
Not just the hard fucking his baser instincts craved.
It genuinely bothered him that Sarang might not like him anymore.
As. A.Person.
As though it should matter at all whether or not Sarang wanted to cuddle and share intimate discussions about their day.
It bothered him that the alpha might not have truly liked him from the start, only sticking around out of a sense of duty and responsibility.
Viewing him as a victim.
He wasn’t. Even if he’d never agreed to being saved or the life-bond, Shiloh was no one’s victim, and his wicked desires could attest to that much. When it came to Sarang, he didn’t feel wronged, he felt ownership.
