"Yeah… you're right," he says, sighing. He lowers his hand as I stand and go to the kitchen for the second beer because I need a few seconds with my back to him to force these fucking tears to go away.
It's not fair. This man is so perfect and good. His heart is solid gold and I'm a horrible, horrible woman. I can't even live with myself at this point. When he leaves, I have to get out of this. I'm gonna need Yefim to let me stay with him, and maybe a new identity. Alisa will never understand. I'm in so deep, it's going to kill me.
He's still coiled up when I come back with the second beer. His leg is bouncing rapidly, and his hands are still curled into fists. Iset my beer on the table and swing my leg over his lap and settle onto him, straddling his thighs, putting my hands on both sides of his face.
"Look at me," I say softly, and everything in me is screaming at me to just come clean.
"What?" he says, hands resting on my hips.
It hurts.
It physically pains me to see him like this, and knowing I'm the one doing it to him is torture. It’s killing me, but I have to calm him down. The angrier he gets with his family the worse this is for him. Bogdan and Makar may be making me do this to him, but he doesn’t need to cut ties with his family over it. He will need them when shit hits the fan.
"Please let me take care of you," I whisper, leaning in to kiss him. I think I need this more than him, and I have to fight back the guilt to take what I want.
He resists for half a second, and then something in him lets go and his mouth opens against mine and his hands grab my hips and pull me down onto his lap. I can feel him getting hard and I roll my hips forward. He groans into my mouth and his fingers dig into the flesh above my waistband.
"Will you let me?" I whisper against his lips. "You'll feel so good, and then you'll relax."
He nods at me and kisses me again, biting my lower lip, but I want more. I break the kiss long enough to pull my shirt over my head and toss it on the floor. His eyes drop to my chest and his hands follow, palms sliding up my stomach to my bra. He cupsboth breasts and his thumbs drag across my nipples over the fabric so I arch into his hands and grind down on him.
"Off," he says, reaching behind me.
He unhooks my bra with one hand and peels the straps down my arms. His mouth is on my breast before the bra hits the floor, tongue circling my nipple, teeth grazing the peak. I grab the back of his head and hold him there as a moan rolls out of me that surprises us both.
"I need skin," I breathe, tugging at his jacket and shirt.
He leans forward and I pull them both over his head and throw them away. The tattoos across his chest and arms dance when he breathes. I press my palms against his skin and feel his heart slamming my right hand. I kiss his neck, drag my teeth across his collarbone, and he tips his head back against the couch and exhales through his teeth.
"Hold on a sec," I mumble, realizing this won't really work if my jeans are on. I climb off his lap and stand in front of him. He watches me with hooded eyes as I unbutton my jeans and push them down my legs and step out of them. My underwear goes next, sliding down my legs until I'm bare and his eyes are locked on my pelvis.
"I want to see you," I tell him, hooking my finger into the waistband of his jeans. "All of you."
He unbuckles his belt and lifts his hips and shoves his jeans and boxers down together, kicking them off his feet. His boots thud under the coffee table and he's bare, rock hard and looking delicious.
His hands reach for me the second I'm within range, pulling me back onto his lap. I straddle him again, bare skin on bare skin, and the heat of his cock slides between my thighs and makes my whole body flush.
"Shit," I hiss as his hand slides between us and his fingers find my soft lips. He presses two against my clit and rubs and my hips buck forward into his palm.
"You're drenched," he says, his mouth on my neck.
"What did you expect, Kaz?" I whimper, twitching as he rubs me. "You do this to me."
He pulls his hand away and reaches for the empty beer bottle sitting on the coffee table. He holds it up and looks at me and the darkness in his eyes sends a current straight through my center.
"Do you trust me?" he asks.
"With everything," I tell him.
He brings the bottle between my thighs. The glass is cool against my skin and I shiver when he runs the neck of it along my slit, pressing the smooth rounded neck against my entrance without pushing in. He holds it there, teasing, watching my face.
"What are you doing?" I ask, smirking at him. This is new, and somewhat arousing.
"Gonna experiment," he says, toying with me. The bottle teases my lips, swirls around my clit, then dips back between my thighs.
When he grabs the neck of it and presses the butt against my entrance, I gasp, but it doesn't stop him. My hands shoot to his shoulders as he starts pushing it in, pumping it slowly in shallowthrusts to spread my moisture across the glass. It's cold and hard, and it barely fits and my God, is it incredible.
"Oh, holy fuck, what are you doing?" I gasp, feeling my body already growing toward orgasm.
