I jump like I’ve been electrocuted, gasping at the foreign voice in my head. That was not my thought, but Kit’s voice in my mind. So, he can speak into my mind and from the look of it, he doesn’t have to be in the same room to do it. Unless… Is he spying on me? I would not put it past him to be hiding in here somewhere. This is almost something that I hope is true, and the other option is not one I want to contemplate; that he doesn’t need to be close to me as he can read my mind.
Conforming to what Kit wants is not something I want to do. However, my instincts are telling me that the demon is right.
“I guess I must have gifts. I didn’t understand it until now.” I feel awful lying to him, but this feels like the only option I have in this moment. Thankfully he seems to accept my excuse without question.
“Magic…” Caleb trails off and shakes his head, confusion clouding his eyes. “How did I not see the signs? I should have known, I could have helped you.”
I hate seeing him blame himself, especially when what I have told him is a lie. However, something about what he says twinges in his mind.I could have helped you. Does that mean that he knew that magic was not as bad as we were always told? He continued to keep an eye on me after I was redesignated Sullied,but he could never outwardly help me, his calling to the gods too strong to turn him from his duty. If he knew I had forbidden magic, I have no qualms in admitting he would hand me over. Unless he already knew the kingdom’s secret.
“Did you know that the royals have been looking for magic users all this time? That they claim it is evil so they are feared and the citizens will hand them over?”
I don’t know for sure that this is why they have been spreading lies about magic for so long, but it goes beyond the rule of our current king. A generation of liars spreading fear to get what they want. It is far easier to control us with fear than trust alone.
Caleb is one of the most righteous people that I know, he would not participate in a lie that manipulates people into doing what the crown wants… Except, as I stare into his familiar features, my stomach does a flip, nausea filling me at his uncomfortable expression. He knew.
“Caleb! They are spreading lies to scare and control people!” Indignant outrage courses through me and I cannot hold myself back despite this not being a conversation we should be having here. “I can’t believe you never told me. You of all people.”
The Chosen are supposed to be holy and work for the good of the people. My opinion of them is quickly changing, and honestly, my respect for Caleb is taking a hit. Trust is not something easily given, and to find out he went along with all this… I have seem people be killed because they were accused of being magic users. Were they just innocents caught up in it? Caleb went along with it and did not step in. In my mind, that makes him as guilty as those who participated.
My expression must show some of this as his whole demeanour shifts, a frown pulling at his brow. “We don’t have time for this now, but I will explain later, I promise.” Something changes in him and in the blink of an eye, he is no longer myfriend, but one of the faceless Chosen, only his mouth visible. Spinning on his heels he stalks back to the fountain with a swish of his white robes. “Those who have come to witness the redesignation of Lady Kiara, please gather around.”
I am still standing where he left me, watching him like I don’t recognise him anymore. Perhaps I don’t know him like I thought I did. Everyone is gathered and waiting for me, so I assume that his announcement includes me too. Slowly, I walk forward, stares boring into me and I make sure that each of my steps is sure. I will not appear meek and fragile.
Caleb waits for me in the circle of flagstones, and gestures for me to come to his side. He clears his throat and faces the king, dipping his head slightly.
“Our sister here has been seen by the gods, surviving the life of a sullied and the challenge they set for her. She went a step further and made sure to help others where she could.” The large domes space makes his voice boom out with an authority that feels greater than himself, as though the gods are speaking straight through him. “As such, the gods have seen it fit to grant her with the gift of magic so she can dedicate herself fully to help her kingdom. To assist her in doing this, the gods are choosing to redesignate her.”
My stomach turns sour. Am I hearing this right? The way he is speaking makes me sound like a martyr who sacrificed herself for the good of others, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I was barely out of childhood when I was dragged from my life, the fact I survived was not because of the gods. It was me who begged and stole for my next meal. When it saw what happened to Ella, I knew I could not leave her alone, despite knowing that it was going to be so much more difficult with two mouths to feed.
The lords seem to be lapping up the story though, viewing me with a different light in their eyes. I want to shout at them,to break this beautiful farce, but Caleb makes another gesture, stopping me before I do something stupid.
Two guards step forward in response to his signal and approach me. Years of running from guards has my body screaming at me to go, but I force myself to stand firm. One of the guards nods at me and grabs my arm, examining my band. My heart begins to speed up, my fear making my chest tight. A glint of metal catches my eye and I jerk my head to the side, spotting a large pair of pliers in his hands.
Hands clamp down on me, shoving me to my knees as my arm is yanked out at an odd angle, pain flaring in my shoulder.
Snippets of an old, painful memory flash in my mind as history repeats itself. This is my past, things are different this time, but I am stuck in the flashback.
“No, please, what did I do?” I cry, desperately searching for my father in the crowd. I am barely an adult, what could I have done to deserve this? I spot my father and hope flares in me until I see the look of disgust and disappointment. He will not help me.
Stop. I need to stop this before someone notices. Things are different this time, the guards are being gentle and I am not being forced to the ground. Caleb is here. I am safe. This is real, this is happening. I keep telling myself this, needing to push past the fear the memories are inducing in me. Only, it is not working. I can still hear the sizzle of my burning flesh from where they bound the black band to my arm. My ears ring and fingers begin to tingle. I am finding it difficult to focus when my head is so foggy, dizziness threatening to overtake me. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the guards holding me, I would probably be on the floor.
“Breathe.”Kit’s voice demands in my mind like a metaphysical slap to the face.
How dare he just pop into my mind whenever he likes? I am so mad at him that it breaks the hold of the memories. I want to rage at him, but a burning in my chest raises a greater need. Gasping, I take a huge breath and fill my abused lungs. I had not even realised that I had been holding my breath. Taking several steady, deep breaths, I quietly seethe, knowing that he was right only making me angrier.
Back in the present, I focus on keeping myself in the moment as the guards lift the huge pair of pliers and proceed to cut off the black band around the top of my arm. Several low mutters of exclamation come from those watching and I know it is because of the state of the mottled and scarred skin that was beneath the band.
The process of receiving your bands is not comfortable as they are fixed tightly in place so they cannot be removed. This is done by applying them while the metal is still hot. Many children in the Gutter have caught infections from the wounds they received at their band ceremony. When it comes to the Sullied, the guards are even less careful, sometimes going out of their way to cause damage to the recipient. Ella almost lost her arm thanks to the burns she received at her redesignation.
It feels so strange to be without a band. I was twelve when I received my first, and eighteen when I was redesignated, so most of my life has been with a band, proclaiming my rank to all.
Glancing down at my arm, I lift it, testing the movement without the weight of the band. This moment does not last long though. Everyone has a band, even the king. A glistening catches my eye and I glance across to see two semi circles of gold being brought toward me on a pillow. My eyes widen at the implications of what is about to happen. They are giving me a golden band.
Gold bands are used for royalty, and I am anything but. Bronze would be more appropriate, or silver at a push sincethey are all addressing me as a Lady now. By giving me a golden band they are declaring that I am important, giving me the highest rank possible. I have a horrible feeling that I know why, and I glance across at the king for confirmation. He stands tall, watching over with authority, and slowly, he dips his head, confirming my suspicions as well as serving as a quiet reminder that he is behind this and I have a reason to play along. This is my reward.
“I can’t take this.” I whisper to Caleb, desperately searching his face for any signs of my friend. The guards are still standing beside me, preparing the bands that they are about to fuse to my arm, so I know I have to be careful with what I say.
His head raises quickly, losing the serenity that was settled over him and stares at me as though I have grown a second head. “What are you talking about?! This is a good thing, Kiara.”
