“This is abribe.” Hissing the words, I sense the attention of the guards shifting from their task to what I am saying. This is probably treason, but I need him to understand. His eyes give him away though, the confusion and disbelief that I would not want this life shining back at me. Of course, if Caleb knew the truth of what was happening, then he might think differently.
“This will keep you safe,” he insists, his stare intense. “It grants you immunity and will open doors for you that previously you could only ever dream of.”
There is only so much we can say, I might have already gone too far. Caleb wants to say more, I can see it in his expression. He does not need to say it aloud though as I already know what he would say. What is there to go back for? This new life offers me something everyone dreams of. I wish I could explain to him that this is a way for the king to control me, and that a gilded cage is still a cage. Am I being too stubborn here and missing the point? Caleb clearly thinks so from his confusion. Should I justjoyfully take what is being offered and forget about the suffering I experienced prior to this?
I slip my hand into the pocket of my dress and find the pouch of gemstones I slipped in before we left my room. The cool touch of the gemstones is soothing, their strength and calming serenity passing through to me. Clarity returns to me, my gems helping to ground me. I would be foolish to turn down the golden band. That does not mean I have to accept the meaning behind it.
Beside me, the guards have finished preparing the band and are waiting for some silent signal to begin. They seem hesitant, and I suspect they are wondering if this is going to happen at all. Raising my chin, I nod first to Caleb, and then to the guards. Their relief flashes across their faces, but it is gone in a moment.
Caleb clears his throat and takes my hand in his, stretching out my arm in the process. “Lady Kiara, today the gods have chosen to redesignate you.” The strange resonance returns to his voice, elevating him as he becomes a faceless voice of the gods once more. “You will shed your old identity for this new life. This golden band signifies the pledge you make to your kingdom, glimmering and a beacon of hope. Do you accept this designation with all of the challenges and perks it offers?”
Slowly, I twist to look at the king.
While I may be about to receive his bribe, I make sure that he knows exactly how I feel about him and his ‘generosity’. All of my anger, mistrust and reluctant compliance is communicated in this one look. This one silent moment of resistance is all I can risk without it backfiring on Ella. To others it probably appears as though the king and I are sharing an intense look, but I know that he can read the exact meaning behind it. His offer might have sweet rewards, but that does not cover up the rotting cavity of his blackmail. The smug expression that crosses his face makes me feel nauseous. He thinks that he has won, and whilehe might be winning this battle, the war is still ongoing and I will not be beaten.
“I accept.”
The two halves of the band are lifted carefully with tongs, the guards face set in concentration, while the other guard holds my arm steady.
I am going to vomit, my stomach churning with barely supressed fear. Look away, do not watch them binding it to my arm. However, I am trapped by horrified curiosity and no able to look away. Besides, turning my head would show weakness. Even just the thought of the king thinking me weak bolsters me and I force myself still.
The heat of the band radiates against my skin and although I know I can do this, that old familiar feeling of panic crawls up my spine and crushes my heart in vice-like grip. I am about to breakdown, or vomit on Caleb’s feet, possibly both.
“You have survived far worse than this,” Kit’s voice sounds in my mind again, his hushed assurance filled with admonishment. This time hearing him does not make me angry, but grateful. It gives me something to grab onto that will pull me from the memory. I know I am strong enough to withstand the pain of the bonding, but it is the attached emotional trauma that is causing me the problems. I need to keep myself in the present so I don’t have a complete breakdown.
My arm starts to tingle, even though the band is not yet touching me. How…?
“Breathe,” Kit whispers into my mind, and the scent of his magic washes over me.
Realisation hits me at the same time the band is pressed to my arm. Gritting my teeth, I brace for pain that does not come. Eyes wide, I watch as the metal is pressed to my skin, the two halves becoming whole, smoking slightly as they do so. I can feelthe heat, I can see the redness of my skin beneath, so why can I not feel-
Kit, he is behind this; I just know it. Somehow, he has managed to mute any pain I might feel while still allowing me other sensations in my arm. It is impossible, at least, so I thought. Magic seems to make anything possible.
The guards stand back, allowing me space to breathe now their job is complete. Gold glimmers on my arm, so bright compared to the dull black band that was there before. The touch of Kit’s magic fades, leaving behind only a slight throbbing of my arm. I expect something to happen, like a brush of the gods presence to show their pleasure at my acceptance. According to the Chosen, this is what the gods wanted, and this is the highest rank a human can receive after all. Perhaps the gods do not approve and all of this just a farce, giving others a story that will suit the king’s narrative.
What just happened is a miracle. The sullied are never treated this way, and now I am one of the highest-ranking people in the city. Then why don’t I feel different to how I did before? There are so many emotions that I should be feeling; Joy, relief, happiness? After all, both Ella and I are going to be safe and well fed, never having to beg and fight for food and clean water. However, all I feel is… strangely numb.
Glancing back down at the glimmering golden band now permanently attached to my arm, I cannot help but compare it to what Kit has done to me. Is it any different than the tattoo that now covers my skin? Both have branded me in their own ways, a show of their ownership over me. At the end of the day, the king has given me the illusion of freedom, when Kit was upfront about his claim on me.
I cannot decide which is worse.
The lying king or the honest demon?
Eighteen
“Kiara!” Ella’s cry is full of child-like delight and the patter of her running footsteps immediately raises my spirits; despite the fact I cannot yet see her. Clearly her desire for us to see each other is as strong as my own.
A flash of movement appears in the doorway and a small girl bounds toward me. Breath catching in my throat I stumble toward her and fall to my knees as she reaches me. My heart soars and I catch her as she throws herself into my arms, knocking the air from my lungs, but I do not care, and momentarily I forget that we are being watched. Arms wrapping around her of their own will, I hold her close and inhale her familiar scent, squeezing my eyes shut and absorbing this moment. I have missed her so much, a feeling that goes far deeper than simply worrying for someone I promised to protect. Even though we have only been apart for a short time, the relief at having her here in my arms, safe, is more than I can put into words.
When I was taken away, I thought I would never see her again, but here she is. As close to me as a little sister, she is the closest thing I have to family. While she might have beenthrough the underworld and back, she has always been so sweet and naive that she would never survive on her own. Ella is far too gentle for this world and deserves so much better.
“I missed you,” she mutters into the crook of my neck, a slight waver to her voice. This. This is why I am doing all of this, for her safety and happiness. My throat goes tight and my eyes sting, emotions rising quickly now we are back together, but I won’t let myself cry, at least, not in front of her.
“I missed you too, El.”
Easing back so I can look over her, I cannot help but smile slightly at what she is wearing. She is clean, hair brushed and braided, and dressed in a ridiculously puffy pink dress. While I never knew Ella before she was redesignated, this is something I could imagine her choosing for herself. Somehow, she never lost her spark in those hard years, and I will do everything in my power to keep it that way.
“Are you okay?” Studying her studiously for any signs of injuries or neglect, I am quickly reminded that we are not alone and drop my voice. “Did they hurt you?”
