Hayden reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers together. And just like that, we’re walking. The air is crisp, the sky dark, the stars flickering just for us. Neither of us says much, but we don’t have to. His thumb is a metronome on my palm, steady as sunlight, and possibly for the first time in years, I think about planting something that’s just for me.
Ah.
So,thisis what it’s like to not have to carry it all alone.
26
Hayden
I hadn’t planned toshow up at Levi’s door unannounced, but Dominic and Elijah made it sound like a rescue mission. And when men like them throw around words likeboyfriend obligationandbest-friend intuition, I’m learning it’s easier to just show up.
Levi blinks at us from the doorway, dark circles clinging beneath his eyes.
“Don’t tell me you forgot about the polar plunge?” Dominic questions, waving his phone. “Come on…we’re kidnapping you.”
Levi groans. “You’re joking.”
“Not this time,” Elijah says. Then, softer, with a glance toward me like he’s asking for backup, “We’reallin agreement you could use some fun.”
Levi shifts, uncertainty etched into the line of his shoulders. Before he can retreat, I step closer and pull him into a hug. “You don’thaveto do this,” I murmur near his ear. “We’ll leave right now if you want. But…and I can’t believe I’m saying this…it might feel good to do something reckless.” The word feels unbelievably foreign on my lips. “If you choose to do it, I’ll be right there. The whole time.”
He searches my face, testing me. I let him see the answer: I mean it. He exhales, lips twitching into the first true smile I’ve seen in days. “Guess you’re jumping too, then?”
“It would appear that way,” I say dryly, which only makes Dominic cheer. Inside, all I feel is relief.
Before we can change our minds, we’re crammed into Dominic’s car, heater blasting against frosted windows. Dominic and Elijah squabble in the front seat about who’s going to chicken out first. Levi leans into my side, his head resting on my shoulder, eyes closed as if he’s soaking up the last bits of warmth. I rest my hand over his, anchoring us both against the rattle of laughter from the front.
Within minutes, the lake, frozen at the edges, stretches out before us, dark and foreboding under the moonlight. And to my utter horror, there are people here. Many, many people.
Apparently, this isn’t just some ridiculous thing Levi does with his friends. It’s an event. A tourist attraction for thrill seekers and boozy daredevils alike. There are tents set up for changing, bistro lights strung along the snow-dusted path, and a massive bonfire already roaring off to the side.
My shadows curl around me, twitching and restless, as if sensing the impending shock. I’m struck by the absurdity. This is what I get for falling for a man who historically thrives on spontaneity. But with Levi, joy isn’t frivolous…it’s essential.
“I refuse to believe people willingly do this,” I mutter.
Levi grins, hooking an arm through mine. “It’s exhilarating.”
“You mean insane.”
“Same difference,” he chirps, tugging me toward the dock anyway.
Stripped down and shivering, we line up at the edge, the dock creaking beneath our bare feet, lantern light flickering over the frozen lake. Dominic and Elijah are making veiled threats about pushing the other first, their laughter loud against the night.
Beside me, Levi is quiet. His hand finds mine, cold fingers lacing through, clinging tight. His breath puffs white in the air, sharp and uneven, gaze locked on the water.
I squeeze his hand, coaxing his eyes back to mine. Moonlight sharpens the curve of his jaw, determination and fear twined together in his expression. He looks both breakable and unstoppable.
“On three?” he asks.
“We’ll do it together,” I tell him, my thumb brushing across his knuckles.
Something in him steadies at that. He nods, lips twitching into a small, devastating smile.
“One…two…three.”
And then it’s Levi who pulls us forward, his grip unyielding as we all leap into the dark.
The lake swallows us whole. My heart lurches as gravity drags us down, and then the cold hits. It feels like a thousand knives slicing through my skin, obliterating every thought except the desperate need to breathe. My chest seizes, limbs rigid with shock. The icy water grips me, unforgiving and absolute, as if determined to hold me captive.
