I waited until my mother was occupied with a distant relative to approach her. I wasn't going to seduce her, but I wasn't going to ignore her either.
Standing at Parker's side, I asked in a low voice, "You okay?"
She stiffened and looked up at me, her eyes hesitant, our connection snapping into place, as strong as ever. Instead of answering, she shook her head. "You?" she asked.
"Not even close." I wasn't going to lie to Parker. I didn't need to.
"I'm so sorry about your father," she whispered.
"Yeah, me too. Thanks for taking such good care of my mother."
Parker nodded, pressing her lips together before she said, "My mother died when I was nine. I like being around Claudia. I'm glad I can help her right now." Parker drew in a breath, letting it out in a short, gusty sigh. "She really loved your dad. He was a good man."
My throat closed. I couldn't have forced out a word if you'd put a gun to my head. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I nodded again.
Everything felt so wrong. I know a reception after the funeral is pretty standard, but it felt like a fucking cocktail party. A weird one where my aunt and my father's attorney were eating baked brie together while they chatted about tennis.
The only thing that felt real was my short conversation with Parker. So real I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Are you okay? Not about this. In general. Are you okay?"
Parker went stiff again, freezing utterly for a few long seconds before her head bobbed in a forced nod. "Of course," she said, "I'm fine. Everything's wonderful, except for you know–"
Neither of us believed a word she said. I wasn't going to lie to Parker, but I had no doubt she'd lie to me. She had to lie to me. It was the only way she could keep lying to herself.
I let it go. There was too much going on to push Parker about her marriage. It was not the fucking time.
Looking back at those days of weirdness–of grief and shock and everything being wrong, only one thing strikes me as truly strange. My absolute assurance that while it wasn't time to push Parker, that time would come.
I had no reason to think that was true.
But I didn't think it. I knew it. Knew it to the marrow of my bones.
My job wasn't to push. Not yet. That would come later. For now, all I had to do was wait. Whatever came next, it had to come from Parker.
If I seduced her away from Tyler, she'd never be mine. Not really. Not the way I wanted her.
Once I had my mom on her feet, I left. I went back to my company, back to my life, and I forced myself to put Parker from my mind. I tried not to listen when my mother filled me in on little bits and pieces from her and Tyler's life. Tyler was playing polo again. Tyler had bought a boat. Tyler and Parker were sailing in the Greek Islands.
No mention of Tyler having any kind of employment. I didn't ask my mother who was paying the bills. I knew the answer. My father, no fool, had left his assets to my mother, but the bulk of them were in trust, and I was one of the trustees. Tyler was not.
My father died before we got back on good terms, but even when we disagreed, he knew he could trust me not to piss away the family fortune on sports cars and elaborate parties as Tyler was undoubtedly trying to do. My mother insisted she could handle him, promising that Parker was keeping Tyler in line.
Annoyed beyond reason, I'd snapped, "He's her husband, not a toddler. She shouldn't have to 'keep him in line'. He should keep himself in line."
My mother had only sighed. "You know how he is, darling. I thought marriage would settle him down, but–" Another sigh.
"So he's still fucking half the eastern seaboard every chance he gets?"
"Nash! Language!"
That was her attempt to evade my question. Since it wasn't a real question, I let it go. Parker was not my business. Aside from partnering her in a board game the Christmas before she moved back to her hometown, we hadn't spoken more than a few words in years. If this was the life Parker wanted, who was I to argue?
If I could have excised her from my heart, I would have done it in a second. I couldn't understand why I belonged so completely to a woman I barely knew. Countless lovers had told me I was afraid to commit. That I was married to numbers, to code and dollar signs. Maybe they were right.
I'd thrown myself into work after I graduated, and as I'd become more successful I'd gained a level of celebrity. Or notoriety. Either way, it all came with a wide selection of beautiful women eager to be seen on my arm, to take their turn in my bed. I took full advantage. I wasn't saving myself for Parker. It wasn't like she was waiting for me, considering she was married to my brother.
Every time my mother asked me to come home, I threw up business as my excuse. Always business as I hopped from one company to another, building them up just to sell and jump to something else, every time narrowing my focus, honing my experience until I was in reach of my end goal.
I was finally there. My current startup was positioned to change the future of AI technology. I was in Boston to meet potential investors for the next stage. I wasn't sure I liked the Boston team, but I was trying to keep an open mind.
