Chapter 14
Elina
“Elina,Tesoro, wait, please.” Bash comes up behind me, as I turn away from my friends and walk toward the door to the back. “I haven’t even seen her since that night and that was the first time I had laid eyes on her.”
“Laid,” I snort in derision. “Nice choice of words, Bash. Listen, who you fucked up until Sunday night is no concern of mine. But she works in my bar, and now, I have to look at her face and think about your cum running down her leg.” I say half angry, half disgusted. He visibly flinches at the venom in my tone. I don’t want him to feel shame—I want him to be mine, and I have to face the evidence of him when he wasn’t, every day. “I let you inside my body, and that means something to me. I had forgotten, until this moment, that you don’t have any qualms about having sex on a public toilet with a woman you met an hour prior. We are not the same.” This is too much. The Amelie situation had left my mind. The way he had walked out of the stall without so much as a backward glance while there was still blood seeping from the wounds heleft on Amelie’s neck. Her skirt a little askew, her cheeks still flushed.
“Elina, I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since I saw you in that bathroom. I will get down on my knees right now and confess all of my sins in front of the entire bar, but believe me when I tell you, we are the same. I can’t even imagine looking at, or being with, another person. You are my sun, my moon, my everything.”
The man in the bathroom is a completely different man than the one who kissed my knee tenderly as I came down from my orgasm, and got a damp towel to clean me up before helping me dress.
Which is the real Sebastien Malvani? The brute who has been around for over 400 years, who fucks waitresses in bathroom stalls—or the gentle, sensitive man who does aftercare and genuinely cares about me.
Sarah comes up and lays a hand on Bash’s shoulder. “Let me have a minute, Bash. Ethan is still at the bar if you want to join him.” He walks away without a word and I don’t know if I’m happy or upset about that. “Lina, are you actually mad at him for what happened before he even knew you existed?”
“No, of course not. I don't care who he slept with before me. It’s the way it happened, I guess. Like, who is fucking randos in the bathroom? Him. I mean, I’m not so prudish that I think there is anything wrong with casual sex but it’s just not me, you know? But it seems like it is him. And I gave him a piece of myself the other night. I wanted that to mean something to him too.”
“Sweetie, if you look at that man and tell me he is anything but absolutely head over heels for you, you’re blind. You know what? I was thinking, what if ya’ll did like a double-date thing with me and Ethan. The four of us could get something to eat, hang out, and get to know each other. I think it will help youguys to spend some time having some fun with other people around. Your—whatever this is—isn’t something to be ashamed of.” She looks so hopeful that I realize this is probably something she needs too. It’s always been the two of us and Ethan. Then it was just us. Now there is a new person.
“Ok. I need to talk to Rian, can you cover the bar?”
“Of course.” And she disappears after a quick embrace.
Knocking on Rian’s door a few minutes later, I wait for her to press the buzzer to let me in.
“Come in, Elina.”
I find her sitting behind her large desk, piles of paperwork surrounding her. Seven years ago, I walked in the front doors of the bar and begged the rail-thin black woman manning the bar to take a chance on me, and her support and patronage has been a lifeline for my family.
“Hey, Rian. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
“Sure.” She sounds suspicious. “What’s up, Elina?”
“So, I’ve been working here for 7 years, 6 days a week. But I think I need to cut back a little bit. I want to have some more time for other things, and I am here all the time.”
“Mmmhmm. I’m sure this has nothing to do with a tall, dark, and handsome vamp sitting at my bar right now does it? Only a few weeks ago you were all ‘I will not be trapped in a room with a lion’.” She puts on a falsetto tone that sounds nothing like me, and I laugh. “Now you’re cutting back on work and money to spend more time with him? Elina, you’re like a daughter to me. If you need some time off, it’s yours. Just don’t disappear on me. What would you like to do? 5 days a week? 4?”
“It’s not only that. I guess I need some time to figure me out, ya know? I’ve given a lot to this bar—I am thankful you took a chance on me. Now I need to do the same.”
“Elina, honey, you are like the daughter I never had; adaughter of my heart. If you need some time off to find yourself, or if you need time to hang out with your friends, life is hard enough around here. Your job isn’t going anywhere.” She looks at me with pride shining through her eyes and I feel like I have another ally in this. She doesn’t pass judgement on my relationship with Bash. She wants me to do whatever is right for me.
“Let's do Sunday and Monday off for now. It gives me time and I don’t miss any of our busy days. Sarah is off Thursdays, so you will have a bartender even when I’m not here.”
“Ok, Sundays and Mondays. Got it. Hey, Elina? No brawling over dudes in my bar. If you and Amelie can’t make up and get over it, we will have a problem, whether I love you or not.”
“Thanks, Rian! Love you!”
Walking back out toward the bar, I stop just inside the door and watch them. Sarah, Ethan, and Bash, smiling and laughing. Telling jokes and relaxing. I feel like I’m looking into my future, my family. One day, Grand-mere will be gone, and it will just be me and Sarah. Why couldn’t it be Sarah and Ethan, me and Bash. We could be our own family. I don’t want to give up a chance at having something for me because other people don’t want me to have it.
“Guess what?” I do a little dance, spinning in a circle. “I changed my schedule so now I’m off on Sundays and Mondays. And Sarah thinks we should have a double date. Since she works Mondays, we have to do it on Sunday, but are you interested?” I bombard Bash with all this as soon as I am within earshot.
A huge grin spreads across his face. “I know you aren’t for sale, but I would gladly do whatever it takes for you to take as many days off as you want. And, yeah, Ethan’s cool, for a baby vamp.”
“Hey! I'm 29!” Ethan says from beside him, bumping him with his shoulder.
“Yeah, in human years. In vampire years, you’re like, 3 months old.” We all laugh together and my heart almost explodes with joy at how easy this feels. I have got to stop sabotaging my own happiness. Whether it’s because I don’t think I’m good enough, or because I’m worried what other people will say or think of me, I have always changed myself for other people. And I’m exhausted. I want to live for myself and do what is best for me.
“Hey, Bash? Will you take me home this morning?” I ask, my mind made up.
