She’d called him Dad.The coat of armor he’d been building ever since Jane had barreled back into his life cracked a little bit more.He was losing ground fast here.First with Jane and now with Billie.He couldn’t stop thinking about keeping the two women in his life.But at what price?Billie had just shown him that her temper could easily explode.What happened if she decided that she didn’t want him as her father anymore?What if Jane refused to listen to his plans for the future?How was he going to keep them from leaving?
He held Billie tighter, as if by hugging her close, he could hold the world at bay.He was losing a war and he didn’t even know who the enemy was.
He felt her ease back, then kiss his cheek.“I’m gonna go outside till dinner, okay?”
“Okay.I’ll go talk to your mom.”
She ran out the front door.
He rose to his feet and turned to go upstairs.When he reached the landing, he paused.He couldn’t lose them.Not now.What was he going to do?
A thought burst into his mind.He ignored it at first, then began to wonder if it wasn’t true.Perhaps the reason he was going to lose this war was that the enemy was himself.
* * *
Jane knocked on Charlene’s door.When the older woman called for her to come in, she stepped into the living room and laughed.
“I can’t believe you’re going to need this much luggage,” she said, looking at the suitcases open around the room.Clothes stood in piles on every available surface.
Charlene sighed.“I’m not a light traveler, dear.I always think of something else I just might need.So I pack it all.”
“I’ve come to say goodbye.”
Charlene raised one auburn eyebrow.“I assume you mean because I’m leaving in the morning.”
“Why else?”
Charlene didn’t answer.She folded the silk nightgown she was holding and laid it in the nearest suitcase.
“Oh.”Jane grimaced.“As opposed to my leaving because everything here has gotten so awful.”
“Iwasgoing to ask about that, but now I won’t.”
Jane cleared off a space on the floral-print sofa and dropped down.Charlene handed her several camisoles.She began to fold them.The older woman’s small house provided a haven for all of them, Jane thought.Billie had stayed here.Who knows how many times Adam had run here, and now she was doing the same.It was better than being home.
She sighed as she recalled Adam’s stiff apology for making her cry.He hadn’t said he was sorry for what he’d wanted to talk about, though.She’d noticed that distinction.And then dinner had been strained and awkward with Billie talking to the two adults, but them not talking to each other.When he’d offered to read to Billie and put the girl to bed, Jane had gratefully accepted and had fled to Charlene’s.
“There are problems with the adjustment,” Jane said.“It would have been foolish to assume otherwise.Still—”
“You were foolish?”Charlene smiled.
Jane shrugged.“Let’s just say things are about what I should have expected if I’d thought this thing through.”
“What exactly does that mean?”
“He’s still the same.He’s still trying to control people by controlling the circumstances.”
“In what way?”
“He wants to talk about changing Billie’s last name, putting her on his health coverage, adding to her college fund.That sort of thing.”
The older woman nodded.“I understand perfectly.I can’tbelievehe’d be so self-centered.I hope you put him in his place.”She took back the camisoles Jane had folded and packed them next to the nightgown.
“I told him—” Jane looked at her.“Wait a minute.That didn’t sound completely sympathetic.”
Charlene winked.“You always were a bright girl.”
“What are you trying to say?”
