Page 21 of My Ghost

She knows me too well, there is no use trying to hide anything from her.

“I might…have drunkenly kissed Matteo in the spur of the moment.”I cringe from the humiliating memory.

She inhales sharply, but says nothing.

I pause, searching for words.“He made it clear he isn’t interested,” I say lightly, eyes fixed on my fork.“No big deal.”

There’s a beat of silence.I can feel her still watching me.

“Well,” she says eventually, voice gentle but even, “he’s an idiot.”

I smile but don’t answer.

After a moment, she leans in and asks in a hushed voice, “I overheard Dark on the phone this morning.Something’s going on around here, people are being arrested, companies are being shut down under suspicion of illegal activities.You wouldn’t happen to know why that might be, would you?”

I lift my brows, feigning surprise.“Know what?”

“Erin,” Lily says sternly.

“I-I was just…uh… p-productive yesterday,” I stammer.

“Productive,” she echoes.“Doing what, exactly?”

“Cleaning up.You know, small-time stuff, nothing but a light Sunday.It was mostly therapeutic, really.”I give her one of my brightest grins.

Lily narrows her eyes, not fooled for a bit.“Erin, that was not alightSunday.From what I heard, it was a full-scale state-wide cleaning operation.”She reaches over the table and takes my hand to squeeze lightly.Then she lets go with a heavy sigh.“I’m worried, that’s not like you.”

I shrug, then smile.“I’m fine.”

“You should be careful,” she says quietly.“You’re starting to get reckless.”

“Me?”I say, gasping dramatically.“Reckless?Never.”

But she doesn’t laugh.She keeps watching me with worry but she drops the subject.

I lean in, resting my chin on my hand.“How’s pregnancy going?Are you feeling the kicks yet?”

Her expression turns tender.“Not yet.Might be too early.But sometimes I feel this…fluttering, or like a tingling.It’s a funny feeling.”

We talk a while longer about everything and nothing.All the lighter things that tether you back to earth after a weekend spent in emotional chaos.Eventually, I stand to go, but not before she extracts a promise from me with that soft, serious look of hers.

“You’ll slow down, right?”

I sigh, then grin.“Scout’s honor.I’ll back off the vendetta…a little.”

She doesn’t look convinced, but she lets me go.

And I head back to the clinic.

The rest of the day goes on uneventfully, I dive headfirst into work, taking care of all the paperwork I’d been putting off, running inventory just because I like when things are neat and accounted for.And by the end of the day, I am pleasantly exhausted.

I grab Thai takeout on the way home and collapse onto the sofa with my laptop balanced on my knees.

What now?I did promise Lily I would dial things back with the cleaning.But…I never said anything about reading.

So I log into the darknet, fingers quick and familiar on the keys, and pull up the message boards I keep tabs on.I’m only browsing, I tell myself.A little bit like window-shopping, but without the shopping.

There’s nothing unusual, no chatter worth raising an eyebrow over.After a while, I start to get bored and I fidget on the couch.