Page 47 of My Ghost

Jade opens almost immediately, barefoot and wearing a bathrobe.Tonight is her night off.“Matteo.”Her brows knit in mild surprise when she takes in my state of agitation.“It’s past midnight.What’s wrong?”

“Can I come in?”My voice is rougher than I’d like, but she doesn’t question it.

She steps aside with a small frown, watching me warily like I’m some feral animal ready to snap.I walk in, every muscle in my body coiled tight.She closes the door softly behind me.

“You look like hell,” she says after a beat, heading to the kitchen counter where a decanter of whiskey is sitting.“Want a drink?”

I nod and collapse into one of her velvet armchairs.When she brings the glass over, I take it and thank her with a nod.

“What’s going on?”she asks gently, leaning against the counter with her arms folded.“You show up at my door looking like someone shot your puppy.”Suddenly she pales.“Oh my God, is it…”

I shake my head.“No, nothing new.”Then I let out a bitter laugh.“What a fucking failure.”

She lets out a shaky breath.“What’s wrong?”

I stare into the amber liquid like it holds answers.“I screwed up, Jade.”My voice is flat, defeat seeping through the words.“Worse than I ever have.”

Her gaze sharpens.“Work?Or…” She tilts her head, studying me.“This is about her, isn’t it?”

I glance up sharply, and she smiles.“You think I never noticed the way you look at the woman across the hall?You can’t even walk in here without trying to burn down her door with your stare.”

“She probably hates me,” I mutter, leaning forward and rubbing my face with my free hand.“And I don’t blame her.”

“Matteo…” She sits in the armchair opposite mine, watching me with a glass of wine in hand.“What exactly did you do?”

“Everything…I pushed her away because it was better that way.”My voice is rough.“But now I can’t stop following her, watching her.I need to know where she is, what she’s doing, who she’s talking to.And when she laughs with someone else, it’s like I’m fucking drowning.”

Jade says nothing, waiting for me to carry on as she sips her drink.

“I thought I could control it, control myself,” I go on, staring down at the glass in my hand.“But the truth is, I can’t.And tonight…” My jaw locks.“Tonight, I saw her with that bastard.Laughing and singing…and I fucking lost it, Jade.I showed up there like some goddamn lunatic and scared the hell out of everyone.”

I finally drink the whiskey, but the burn in my throat does nothing to alleviate the fire already raging in my chest.

Jade tilts her head and smiles, her voice softer now.“You really care for her, don’t you?”

The words hit me like a punch, and I can’t even deny them.I just breathe hard, staring at nothing.“I don’t know what this is,” I admit hoarsely.“All I know is that I can’t breathe when she’s not near me.And when she is, I’m either two seconds from kissing the sass out of her or two seconds from locking her away so no one else can touch her.”

There’s a long silence, then she sets her glass down with a quiet clink.“And how does she take your…attention?You said you pushed her away, but now she surely knows the truth about how you feel about her?”

I scoff.“She hates my fucking guts and wants nothing to do with me.And after tonight she might just shut me out completely.”

Jade frowns.“Why does she hate you?”

“Besides telling her she was a spoiled brat and she should stay away?”I rest my elbows on my knees and let my head hang.“I bullied her into working for me,” I mutter.

Jade lets out an unbelieving laugh.“Why doesn’t it surprise me?That’s so…you.”Then her voice turns serious.“Did you tell her why you were here the night she saw you coming out of here?”

I look up, confused.“Why would I?What does me updating you on Lydia’s disappearance have to do with her?”

She lets out a frustrated groan.“It haseverythingto do with her, Matteo.She saw you sneaking around late at night and probably assumed the worst.You need to tell her why.”

I lean back, jaw tight.Tell her about Lydia?About the shitstorm I’m trying to clean up, about how Manticore took Jade’s girlfriend, and now I’m moving heaven and hell to try to locate her before it’s too late?

No.Erin doesn’t need that darkness.She’s already in deep enough, and if she knew the full scope of what I’m up against…it would paint an even bigger target on her back.

Better she thinks I’m an asshole than drag her into this darkness any more than I already have.

Jade shakes her head, clearly reading my silence for what it is.“You’re impossible.You think you’re protecting her by keeping her in the dark?All you’re doing is pushing her further away.She’ll probably think you’re only using her.”