Page 63 of My Ghost

“So,” she says with a small smile playing on her lips, “what’s going on between you two?”

I glance over to where Matteo is in conversation with Damiano and Lucas.He looks relaxed, but even from here I can feel his attention tuned to me.I shrug.

“I don’t really know because we haven’t really put a label on…this.”

“But are you happy?Safe?”Her eyes are probing but gentle.

“I…guess so.”I let out a long breath.“I’m okay, really.I’m safe.Matteo’s not what people think.”Then I remember how controlling he can be.“Um, Lily, about the clinic, I feel guilty for bailing out on you—”

“Oh stop.”She snorts.“You’re allowed to live your life.And I’ve already promoted Mira to practice director and hired a new vet.”

I blink.“You hired?”

“Yup,” she says smugly.“Because I’m an adult who delegates, unlike some people I know.”

I let out an embarrassed laugh.

“Seriously, though,” Lily says, not willing to let it go, gaze thoughtful.“Are you really fine?”

A beat goes by.

“I don’t know,” I say softly.“I feel like I’m not steering my life anymore, I’m no longer in control, and it’s terrifying, you know?”

Lily leans over to take my hand and squeezes it lightly.“Oh, Erin, I do know.”

I look up into her eyes.“And?”

“And maybe letting go isn’t always falling.Maybe it’s flying.”

I stare out into the garden, letting her words sink in.

Could I relinquish my control and hand it over to Matteo?

Chapter Thirty-Four

Erin

I stand by the floor-to-ceiling windows, mindlessly gazing out over the city below.I am alone in the penthouse, my only company the city lights glittering in the distance.

Matteo has been gone every evening for almost a week, coming back only in the dead of night.

Where is he going every night, and more importantly who is he with?And why does he keep coming back, to me, to this bed, in the dead of night like I am a dirty secret he wants to hide?He walks me down to his office every morning, sometimes staying for an hour and then he disappears to reappear only when I’m asleep.He still sends me messages throughout the day, but even those sound distracted.Maybe he is beginning to tire, the novelty wearing out.Maybe he is done and is returning to whoever holds his heart…Jade.I see the scene all over again, him standing in the doorway and her leaning into him, tenderly brushing her lips over his cheek.I feel sick in my stomach.But then, why won’t he let me go?My chest aches, tight with the crippling fear of dejection.

Maybe it’s something else entirely that’s keeping him away, something darker.Is he out until late, working for Manticore?

I shudder, my mind spiraling.I press my forehead to the glass, as if the city could somehow give me the answers I need.I don’t know which thought is worse, but with every night I get alone into his cold and empty bed, my resolve increases.We need to end this.I need to end this, because I know that I won’t survive him throwing me away.I need to walk away before he has a chance to rip my heart out.

I slowly blink to consciousness.The room is cloaked in darkness and silence.A big hand roams over my back as my panties are dragged down my legs.I drowsily lift my head from the pillow, mind sluggish.

“Matteo?”My voice sounds husky from sleep.Definitelynotfrom the first sparks of arousal.Nope.

“Amore,” he murmurs roughly against my skin, trailing lingering kisses over my shoulders while his body slips over mine from behind, pinning me down on the mattress.He is entirely naked, his hard length pushing into my thigh.For a moment I let myself float in the sensation of his hot breath against my neck, of his hard body caging me in.Then I remember.I start to struggle and wiggle in an attempt to disentangle myself out from under him.But his body weighing me down keeps me exactly where he wants me—under him, helpless and captured.“Matteo, please,” I plead.“We need to talk.”

He continues to brush his lips over my skin, igniting a fire low in my belly.“What do you want to talk about?”he asks in a low, husky voice.

I try to turn around, to no avail.“We have to end this, whatever this is.Let me go.Please.”

He chuckles darkly as his hands become more forceful.“Little ghost, you still haven’t got it, have you?”His breath is hot against my ear as he slides his hand up and wraps it around my throat from behind, tilting my head back.“There’s no fucking way in hell I’ll let you go.Ever.”His voice is now laced with anger and frustration.He skims his other hand down my body and grips my thigh to spread me open.Then he positions himself between my legs, rubbing his hard member against my ass.