Frank rolled his eyes. ‘Kelly would be efficient, yes, but she has zero respect in this office. I need someone who can keep a level head and not cause conflict. You’d all threaten to leave within a week if Kelly was in charge.’
‘Fair point.’
‘Look, go home and discuss it with your husband. The role isn’t being created until after this London meeting, anyway. But please keep this to yourself until then.’
‘I’m not married and I’m not inter—’
‘Close the door behind you, please.’
There was no point in arguing. I could have hired a plane to skywrite I AM NOT FUCKING INTERESTED, FRANK, and he’d still be convinced he knew best.
But it played on my mind for the rest of the day. Of course the money would be great and I’m sure I could do the job, but it would mean admitting defeat. It would mean that this is all I am destined to do and that’s fucking depressing.
Friday May 12th
After a quick jaunt to the supermarket to save me going over the weekend, I saw something which made me grin for the rest of the evening. Nothing makes me happier than witnessing the joy that isteenage goth being forced to walk the family dog. His sulk was unmistakable, as was the injustice which radiated from every cell in his lanky body.
I spoke to Oliver about the job offer and the London trip in August. He’s not thrilled at the prospect of me doing an overnight with Frank but of course it was my decision. He just wants me to be happy. That makes two of us.
Saturday May 13th
Lucy came over to watch Molly tonight, letting Oliver and I spend some quality time together watching a special screening ofJawsat the Film Theatre, followed by a quick drink at Nice N Sleazy after. It was great, like a proper date – I wore fancy heels and Oliver opened doors for me, bought me sweets and laughed when I moaned about people clapping at the end of the film.
‘I hate that. Like a room of appreciative seals. It’s not a live performance. Stop that, no one cares.’
‘I fucking love how much you hate people.’
We got back around 1 a.m. to the sight of Lucy, cross-legged on the floor, flipping through wedding magazines.
‘Molly alright?’ I enquired, gratefully kicking my heels off.
‘Yep! She loves her stories, that kid. We read a book about an asshole cat three times. How was the film?’
‘Same as it was the last forty times I’ve seen it,’ Oliver replied. ‘Brilliant.’
‘I see you’ve had a productive night?’ I said, gesturing towards the magazines. ‘Hazel’s been busy.’
Lucy got to her feet, brushing down her trousers. ‘She’s like a well-oiled machine when it comes to this stuff. Did you know that I’m supposed to give a shit about whether flowers match my dress?’
She didn’t wait for a reply, grabbing her car keys off the table. ‘Be thankful you don’t have any of this nonsense to deal with.’
After I’d seen her to the door, I joined Oliver in the bedroom. ‘She’s stressing over this, eh?’ he commented, taking off his t-shirt. ‘I couldn’t be arsed with it all. I’d just fuck off and get married somewhere. Have a party when we got back.’
We?This was the first time Oliver had even mentioned marriage, never mind including me in it. I’d never considered marriage to be an option. We’re not ‘that’ kind of couple.
‘It just all seems a bit pointless,’ I replied. ‘Archaic . . . of course, you can buy me a big fuck off ring regardless. I won’t complain.’
He smiled but stayed quiet. Oh God, he’s going to think I’m hinting for an engagement ring now. I stayed quiet too. I’m not digging myself in any deeper, we have enough to deal with.
Sunday May 14th
Took Molly to the park today where we saw Ruby and Sarah Ward-Wilson hanging out by the boating pond. It’s the first time I’ve seen her away from nursery. It felt weird. Like when you were a kid at school and you spotted your teacher out in the wild.
Molly began sprinting towards Ruby, yelling her name so loudly, it startled the swans. The way children run always fascinates me. Adults run with their legs but children run with their feet. They make that completely identifiable, slapping sound you never hear from a jogger. Sarah waved me over and I took a deep breath. If she hurls herself into the pond, I’m not going in after her.
‘What a surprise!’ she exclaimed. ‘How are you? Keeping well?’
She was definitely far more chipper than the last time we spoke. ‘I’m good, thanks,’ I replied. ‘And you? How is everything?’
