‘We’re having sex later,’ I informed him, quietly. ‘All of it. I’d kiss you now but I have morning breath. Just go before I lock this door and climb you like a gym rope.’
He left the room, casually adjusting himself while I went on an underwear hunt with Molly, finding eleven pairs in the drawer where her pants live. I didn’t mind. I was ready to shag my boyfriend again. Today was a good day.
Saturday May 20th
Hazel was stuck for a babysitter this weekend, so we took Grace overnight to let her and Kevin celebrate their anniversary in style. She’s agreed to take Molly next Saturday as I have plans for Oliver’s birthday.
‘We’re staying at One Devonshire in the Vettriano Suite, in case anything comes up,’ Hazel said. ‘Thank God we don’t have to take Grace along; there’s no way I’m not being naked 100% of the time.’ Grace likes staying with us. She gets to impress us all with her Minecraft skills and sleep on the bouncy air mattress we keep for guests. Molly was of course delighted that her ‘sister’ was staying, begging us to let her come on holiday with us this year.
‘I’m sure she’ll be going away with her own parents, sweetheart. Maybe when you’re both older, we can arrange something.’ Jesus, being responsible for my own kid abroad is stressful enough, never mind someone else’s. We should plan where we’re going this year, actually. Last year’s holiday in Egypt was fun but being constantly hassled by the spa staff who wanted to thread my entire face wasn’t a highlight.
Monday May 22nd
Mum and Dad are thinking of coming over in October for a few days. Their old friend Mitchell is having a huge 70thbirthday celebration in Arran so they’re hoping to combine the two.
‘I hear his new wife is quite a bit younger,’ she informed me. ‘If she hasn’t shagged the old boy to death by New Year, I’ll be surprised.’
‘Ever the romantic, eh, Mum?’ I replied. ‘Hang on, what the hell is that noise? It’s like panting. Is that Dad?’
‘It’s Daphne. She gets very excited when I’m on the phone. Do you want to say hello?’
‘To the dog? I think I’ll pass. Who’ll watch her when you’re over here?’
I heard her lower the phone and tell Daphne to fetch. ‘Our neighbour Bill. He has three dogs anyway, he’s happy to look after her. She has a ball over there. He lets them use the outdoor pool . . . oh shit, she’s in the rose bushes. I have to go, will email you the dates. Love to Molly!’
She hung up the phone and left me to break the news to Oliver. As much as he likes my parents, he finds them a little too full on, though everyone is full on compared to his own parents.
Tuesday May 23rd
A very meek-sounding Jay called to make changes to his copy this morning, apologising for his unprofessional behaviour.
‘It’s absolutely fine,’ I assured him. ‘Please, let’s just forget about it.’
‘Great,’ he replied. ‘I’ll email the new photos over shortly.’
I have to admit, I felt a little bad for the guy. Not only had he been shot down, he was also paying over the odds for advertising in a shitty, right-leaning newspaper.
Frank’s partner came to pick him up for lunch. She looked completely different. So different, in fact, that I had to question whether this was the same woman Frank had on the photo on his desk. A look from Lucy confirmed that she thought the same.
As soon as they stepped out of the office, Lucy and I rushed into his office to grab a look at the photo. But it was gone. There was nothing left to do but SPECULATE AND GOSSIP.
‘They’ve split up.’
‘Who dumped who? I bet she dumped Frank. But why?’
‘Maybe she died?’
‘Maybe he died?’
‘Maybe he had an affair. Ooh, I bet that’s it. And he’s parading his mistress around town like some Lothario.’
‘You have to find out, Phoebe. He’ll tell you.’
‘Why will he tell me?’
‘He’s been up you. He’ll tell you anything.’
*
