3.WatchingMad Max Fury Road.
4.Having very intense sex.
5.Passing out for two hours.
6.Having more sex in the shower.
7.Ordering pizza, hot wings and Irn Bru. Eating like pigs.
8.Feeling sick.
9.Cuddling. Too sore for more sex.
10.Oliver making me laugh so much I almost peed myself.
11.Sleeping until 1 p.m.
It reminded me of when we first got together; all sex and laughing and just messing around. As a couple, we needed this, but as friends we needed it more.
Wednesday May 31st
Molly went back to nursery today (I am so done with these holidays), so I met Lucy for a quick coffee during her lunch hour. I was only in town to return some jeans which claimed to be my size yet were clearly made for someone with bare bones for legs.
‘Please let me talk about something other than weddings,’ she pleaded, biting into a cookie. ‘Honestly, I never thought I’d become this person. I’m sorry we didn’t just decide to elope.’
‘You still could,’ I informed her, blowing on my Americano. ‘Oliver said that’s what he’d do. Just fuck off and do it.’
Lucy shook her head. ‘We’ve paid deposits now – we’re too far gone. Also, WHAT? Oliver talked about marriage?!’
‘Calm down,’ I replied. ‘It was just in passing. Neither of us have any plans. I made a joke about him buying me a fancy ring and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him shut his face so quickly.’
‘Shame,’ she replied, continuing with her cookie. ‘We could have done a double wedding. That would have been fun.’
I laughed. ‘Can you imagine? We’d never take it seriously. I’d want to walk down the aisle to Madonna and have my first dance with you.’
Lucy’s face broke into a massive grin. ‘We could prepare one of those really intricate, surprise dance routines and put it on YouTube.’
‘We should do that regardless.’
‘He’s moving in, you know. In June,’ she said. ‘We decided we might as well get it over with. Be one less thing to do after the wedd—oh God, STOP ME TALKING ABOUT WEDDINGS.’
An hour later I was back on the underground and on my way home, wondering which Madonna song I’d rock down the aisle to. Would have to be ‘Ray of Light’. No, ‘Vogue’. Definitely ‘Vogue’.
June
Thursday June 1st
I made an excuse to see Frank in his office, asking him about the deputy role he’d offered me. I didn’t give a shit about that, I just wanted to start a conversation so I could enquire about his personal life.
‘Ah. You’re considering it. Wonderful. Well, the role would involve—’
‘Where’s your photo gone?’ Yeah, not very subtle but he was boring me already.
‘Photo?’
Oh don’t play dumb, Frankie boy. Where’s the photo and who’s the new woman? What the fuck are you up to?
‘Yes,’ I replied, trying not to look like I was drilling him for information. ‘The one of Vanessa . . . it used to sit right there.’
