Confused, I paused for a moment. ‘Sex isn’t just for birthdays, Oliver. It’s for life.’
‘Just read it.’
I unscrewed the lid and pulled out the note. ‘If this asks me to lick your—’
MARRY ME
I swear my heart dropped four feet into my shoes. I read the note again.
MARRY ME
I looked at Oliver, who had produced a ring while I was busy having a stroke.
‘I love you,’ he said earnestly. ‘I love us. Let’s fucking do this.’
In hindsight, my reaction probably wasn’t what he expected, but in my defence, NONE OF THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING EXPECTED.
‘Why?!’
He hesitated for a second, still clutching the ring. I couldn’t even look at it. It made it too real. ‘Why? Because of those reasons I just said.’
‘But we’re not that couple. We’ve never been into marriage! I mean, we basicallyaremarried but without the piece of paper.’
‘Well, yes but—’
‘YOU KISSED SOMEONE ELSE!’
And there it was. My inability to move the fuck on from this.
He nodded and put the ring back in his pocket.
‘I’m trying to fix this. I really am,’ he said quietly. ‘I thought we were making progress. I thought this might help . . .’
‘Is that what this isreallyabout?’ I replied. ‘An attempt to move past what happened? A solution to fix my hurt feelings?’
He sighed. ‘It was me asking you to be my wife. To show you that this is it for me. That I don’t want anyone else and I never will.’
‘Not kissing anyone else is a better alternative.’
‘I give up. I fucking give up.’
We both sat in a crushing silence for what felt like forever. I stood up to leave but he grabbed my hand.
‘Phoebe. Are we in trouble here?’
Hot tears started to pool in my eyes as he waited for my response. ‘Honestly?’ I replied. ‘I don’t know.’
Wednesday September 27th
I called Pam to see if she could fit me in this morning. Thankfully she was free at 11 a.m. She seemed surprised to see me sitting alone when she opened the door.
‘Is Oliver on his way?’
‘Nope,’ I replied, taking a seat, ‘just me today.’
She paused. ‘I thought we discussed that I don’t tend to see clients involved in couple’s work individually . . .’
‘I know, but . . . well, I’m here now and I need to talk. Please.’
