*
5.30 p.m.The girls decided to playMinecraftwhile the adults all remained in a bloated position, hoping for death or a second wind.
*
7 p.m.Since our gatherings would not be complete without dancing, we all took turns playing the DJ, choosing our favourite tunes. Who knew that Kevin was such a fan of Taylor Swift? Lucy even encouraged Kyle to put on ‘Africa’ by Toto, despite her hatred of the song.
‘How can you hate this song?’ Oliver asked. ‘It’s phenomenal.’
‘EXACTLY,’ Kyle exclaimed, high-fiving Oliver.
Those boys were bonding hard.
*
7.30 p.m.‘I would like to dedicate this next song to Phoebe, the love of my life. Well, until Molly came along, but she still ranks in my top two.’
I chuckled, while everyone else madeawwing sounds, as he chose the next song on Kevin’s Spotify. The opening chords of ‘Danger! High Voltage’ began blaring out. He looked over and smiled at me. It was a smile that made me realise that the song he’d chosen all those months ago in Pam’s office to describe how he felt about me hadn’t changed. Despite everything, Oliver still felt the same. And as he pulled me in to dance with him, I realised that while he felt the same, something in me had changed.
All those years wasted, longing for romantic gestures and lightning bolts, waiting for the perfect moment – why the fuck did I assume they would happentome? Why couldn’t I be the one who made them happen? I AM THE HERO I NEED. The only grand gesture that mattered was the one I was about to make.
I pulled away from Oliver, announcing that I’d be right back, and made my way to the kitchen. What was I doing? How would I do this? If I was going to make a fool of myself, it had to be romantic. It had to be amazing.
It had to be eighties John Cusack holding a boombox outside a window amazing.
But this wasn’t the eighties and I didn’t own or have access to a boombox. What the fuck was I going to do? Sneak outside and hold my Samsung phone above my head outside the patio windows? I’d die of fucking exposure before anyone knew I was even out there.
I needed it to be loud enough to make him investigate. I needed him to hear the song and to know why I was playing it. I needed his heart to skip a fucking beat, like he’d made mine do so many times before. I also needed to do this before someone wondered where I was.
I grabbed my car keys from the table and snuck out the side door, wishing I’d chosen to do this in summer. My bare feet crunched into the snow as I sprinted over to the car, unlocking the doors as I ran. Fuck me, it was chilly, but my adrenalin had taken over. Starting the car, I plugged my iPod into the radio and quickly logged into Spotify; I put on ‘Sweet Disposition’, the song he knows defines how I feel about love. How I feel about him.
I rolled down all the windows and pressed play, letting the song drift out into the night. I was excited, I was scared and I was fucking freezing. I turned on the heaters and rubbed my arms, hoping he’d appear soon. But as the song played to an audience of me, I realised that the house’s double glazing, combined with their music, meant that no one could hear a fucking thing outside. I didn’t even have my phone to slyly alert Lucy to my whereabouts. This plan was going to shit.
So I did what any frustrated person in my situation would do: I put my foot on the gas. I had lost my damn mind. A foot’s worth of snow meant that I didn’t get very far but I wheel-spun impressively, flashing the lights on full-beam and honking the horn. In fact I didn’t just honk the horn, I blasted that horn so loudly that I’m pretty sure I gave every animal on that farm a heart attack and I kept blasting until several faces appeared at the windows, wondering what the hell was going on.
As Oliver stepped out into the night, I slid the car to a halt and stopped the music, accidentally dropping my iPod under my seat. He peered into the driver’s side.
‘Phoebe? What the fuck are—’
‘Wait,’ I demanded, scrambling to pick up my music player. ‘Just WAIT!!’
By this time, everyone had gathered outside and I was pretty sure that the owners of the house would be on their way. Oh fucking hell, why I am so shite at everything?
‘Go back inside!’ I yelled to everyone but no one moved. I could see Molly and Grace pointing at me from the kitchen window.
‘Um, what is happening here?’ I heard Lucy ask as again I insisted everyone go back indoors.
‘I am trying to do a THING HERE,’ I insisted, shooing them from the driver’s window. ‘Please. Just go back in.’
Confused, they all turned and made their way back inside. I knew that I had fucked this up royally but I could either carry on and look foolish and romantic or abandon the plan and look foolish and certifiable. There was no turning back. I pressed play on my song.
As the music began to play for the second time, it didn’t take long for Oliver to come back outside, laughing as he crunched through the snow. I got out of the car to meet him.
‘You and this song . . .’ he said, grinning. ‘What exactly is going on here, Henderson? Have you lost your mind?’
‘I’m grabbing my damn happiness,’ I replied firmly, watching everyone else pile out of the house again, including Molly. Oh God. My audience was now up to seven. Lucy yelled something about getting her coat and pissed off back inside. I took a deep breath.
‘I fucking love you!’ I announced loudly. Molly covered her ears. ‘So very much. In fact, I think I’ve fallen in love with you all over again. I’m not making sense, I know, but this whole mess is my way of saying that the answer isyes, Oliver Webb. I will marry the shit out of you.’
