He stops looking down at his notes. ‘What?’
‘I’m just saying, you have lovely eyes. How old are you, Nish?’
‘Twenty-four… am I allowed to ask how old—’
‘Nope. Where do you live?’
‘Manchester, but my mum is Nepalese and I was born there.’
‘Very cool. And you work in…?’
‘Quantitative analysis. Freelance. And you?’
‘There you go! A conversation! We’re rolling now. I own a café.’
He laughs and grins widely. ‘That must be fun. You seem like a happy person.’
I make a mental note:remove Nish from kill list.
‘Thank you, Nish! Look at us conversing. Isn’t life grand?’
‘I’m sorry,’ he says embarrassedly. ‘I guess I’m overthinking this whole thing. I just wanted this week to be… well, a game changer. I don’t date very often. OK, ever. I’ve never dated.’
‘And you thought the universe would help?’
‘Well, I was raised Buddhist…’
‘Ah! Gotcha.’
I notice that Nish isn’t writing anything, instead he’s just smiling. Maybe I’ve broken him.
‘Time please. Gentlemen, move to the right.’
As he moves seats, I write,Lovely man! Just be yourself.God, I sound like his mother.
Next, I have Paul and as much as I try to stop being judgemental, I can’t help but cringe at his gold chain and bracelet. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. He clears his throat.
‘How’s it going?’ he asks, without waiting for a reply. ‘I’m Paul Barnes. Work in film. Live in Bearsden.’
Bearsden!I could hear Faith’s ‘suitable boyfriend’ list being ticked as they spoke. To her, even Fred West would be a viable candidate if he came with a desirable postcode.
‘Yeah, we met yesterday,’ I reply. ‘But OK. I’m Nora, I work—’
‘Nice, look, I should probably tell you that I’m ready to get serious. Marriage, kids – the lot. I’m not interested in anything casual.’
‘I don’t even know how to respond to that, Paul.’
‘Isn’t that what women want?’ he asks, fiddling with his bracelet. ‘Someone who just lays their cards on the table. No bullshit, no bluffing?’
When did I become the spokesperson for womankind?
‘I’m sure some do,’ I reply. ‘Some might find it off-putting. It’s like me saying that I’m only into cheap, meaningless hook-ups and domination.’
He stops fiddling with his bracelet. ‘Are you?’
‘No, I’m just saying that it’s an equally unusual thing to blurt out on a first date.’
‘Ever been tethered?’
